Have you ever died?
by onliin
Summary: Six year old leo commited suicide but is refused from hell. Ten years pass, he wakes up, and must do whatever it takes to save his sanity. But now he's the little brother. What's a six year old to do? Should a six year old be able to kill this easily? Leo is a lot of things. Insane isn't one of them, but insanity is only one name...
1. Have you ever died?

Have you ever died? Just shriveled up and died?

I have.

Not in body. No. In body I am still very much alive. It's my soul that died. Died the moment my brother said those three words.

"I hate you."

Said with no feeling other then hatred. Those were the words that brought me here. On this building...about to jump.

If you had told me just a week ago that I'd kill myself over a fight, I would've thought you crazy. But not anymore.

Usually when siblings say those words to eachother, all is forgiven by nightfall the same day. But not in this family.

I had chosen to give up the remainder of my childhood for them, to devote my life to protecting them as an older brother should.

I'm only six, but I'm far wiser then my brothers in most subjects.

Not science, thats Dons', third born.

Angers Raphs', my immediate younger brother.

Comic relief is my youngest brother, Mikeys'.

But they no nothing of the real world. Of me.

Im not a suck up. I don't want to be stronger then my brothers. I have to be. The way they get distracted worries me. In a fight they wouldn't last.

Raph doesn't understand that. I tried telling him that I was just trying to protect them, but he wouldn't listen. I'm not sure he can.

And now my other brothers hate me to.

So the least I can do, is die and show them how far they still have to go. Show then that they have to learn to protect themselves.

I grip the railing and step over it, leaning out over the streets, one hand limply at my side, the other clutching the metal bar. All that was keeping me alive was the simple bar, and my hand.

How amusing it would be when the humans all woke up and found a mutant lying dead on the street. Surely I would be dissected,  
>studied. But for some reason I found myself not caring.<p>

Something soft brushed my leg and I turn my eyes down. "Klunk," I whisper. Wait, Klunk never goes anywhere without-

"L-leo?"

Mikey. I don't even turn around. I feel my family behind me. My father, my brothers. I feel their scared and concerned eyes on my back and my hand loosenes slightly.

"Bro what are you doing?" That voice made me blink. Raph.

"What does it look like?" Speaking hurts my throat. I tilt my head so they can see the tear tracks on my face. The baggs under my eyes.

Then comes the rain. They just stared at me as I turned my head back to the streets below, rain soaking into my mask and making the metal of the railing even more hard to grasp.

My hand slips slightly and I smile sadly when they gasp. "Why don't you hate me now? You all said you did. Even Master said I was a mistake. A mistake because I couldn't keep my brothers together."

Splinter bowed his head in what I supposed was shame while my brothers took a step toward me.

"Move and I let go."

They froze, then Don croaked, "Why Leo?"

"Leo died for you. Leo's gone. You wont get him back."

"But your our brother! We know you better then anyone!" Raph yelled.

"Liar."

I let go.

Have you ever died? Just shriveled up and died?

I have. Both in body and spirit, I died. Died the moment my brother said those three words. The moment I let go.

"I hate you."

The moment I was born.

"Don't come back."


	2. Not even Hell wants me

Satan stood overlooking hell when he looked over to the gate. The figure there wasn't scared in the slightest. He even looked as though he wanted to be there. But even he wasnt so cold. It was merely a child. And hell, satan figured if what he had done was bad enough to get him here, then he wanted to see more.

The next second the child was gone.

* * *

><p>Leo just lay looking up at the stars. The rain had soaked him to the bone but he wasn't shivering. No. He'd stopped a long time ago. He was still trying to get his head around the fact that he was still alive.<p>

Hell he wasn't even hurt.

Scowling, he sat up and cursed everything he knew. "How am I supposed to die when even hell refuses to grant acess! That bastard looked right at me dammit!"

On reflex he bolted into the shadows, hoping no one had seen him. He couldn't have been there for long.

Then something struck him as strange. Someone in his family would've moved his body. If only to protect themselves.

So why hadn't they?

He felt a rush of fear. Had something happened? Sheking his head angrily, he scowled_, 'Why should I worry about those who abandoned me?'_

_'Because they're your family.'_

He cursed at his concience, before a sadistic smile crossed his face. If they thought he was dead...who was he to deny them their haunting?

Stepping through the sewers he stared curiously. When had everything changed. Some tunnles were gone while more complex ones were in their place.

Leo saw a newspaper floating nearby and snagged it from the murk, hoping to see reason why.

His eyes widened at the date.

June, 19 XXXX

He had been dead for ten years.

* * *

><p>Now, normally, after finding out you'd just woken up and ten years had gone by, you'd panic. Not Leo. He calmly sat against the wall and asked himself, "How the hell did this happen?"<p>

One phrase stuck in his mind.

Don would know.

His eyes widened. "Now I'm the little brother."

Clenching his teeth, he searched for his home.

Finally reaching it he stood in front for a few seconds before entering. He prepared for questions, accusations, hated glances, but got nothing.

It was ravaged.


	3. Why has this happened?

The shredder stared cooly through the glass at his captives, furious beyond belief. Even covered in wounds they refused to reveal anything that would aid him. Yes he knew that the one called Leonardo was dead, but that couldn't ease the feeling of nervousness that was eating away inside him. He pressed the intercom and spoke through to the four-

"Your stubborness never ceases to amaze me turtles. Even after ten years you have failed to break. But that will end soon."  
>Though he had no idea how. As if on que a foot ninja ran through the door and bowed to him. His finger never left the intercom.<p>

"My master shredder. The surveilence you placed in the turtles home picked up something, but your not going to like it."

A screen popped up on the wall big enough for the four to see, and they gasped, not daring to believe. Leo's voice boomed out the speakers.

"Donnie? Mikey? Raph? Master Splinter? What happened?" he kicked over a piece of rubble.

* * *

><p><strong>Inside the room-<strong>

"Oh god oh god, he's still six!" Mikey sobbed, though out of happiness of fear he didn't know.

Raph just stared at Leo, thinking, 'This is my chance! I can finally apologise!"

Don stared at the ground, trying to reason how he'd survived and why he was still six.

Splinter sat in the corner, meditating, trying to get through to the oldest, turned youngest member of their small family.

Apparently it worked.

* * *

><p><strong>AT THE LAIR<strong>

Leo felt a prod at his mind, and leant into it, hoping it was his master. He wasn't disappointed.

"Leonardo do not speak. The shredder can see you." Leo didn't know who this, _'Shredder'_ was, but the sound of his teachers voice told him to obey.

"Tell me what happened. Send us images of why this has happened. We are being held captive by the Shredder. We made to many mistakes without you. We are sorry my son."

Not answering, Leo continued his search of his home as though nothing had happened, while sending messages to his family..

Splinter couldn't help but be suprised that Leo succeeded. It had taken the others months to learn to do it. Pride welled up inside him.

But his brothers couldn't help but snicker at the fact that he was kicked out of hell. Leo let a small smile flicker across his face. It didn't matter how much time had passed. He was still the most mature. Though he couldn't help but agree, _'When you get kicked out of hell, somethings wrong with you.'_

"We can't apologise enough."

"No, you can't," Leo whispered, though it wasnt picked up by the camera._'Where are you?'_

"I'm the main foot HQ. Its not far from you but security is increadible."

They watched as Leo walked calmly to his old bedroon and lifted the floorbooards. Pulling out twin katanas, he waved them around with suprising skill.

"Good thing I practiced."

The next second he was in the tunnels again, away from the prying eyes of the Shredder, though his link with his master was severed.

* * *

><p>Mickey whistled, "Dude pulled one over on us. Who knew he could use a sword?"<p>

"We weren't even training in weapons when he died." Don said quietly.

"Yeah. I was real stupid then." Raph sighed.

"Then? Try now hothead!" Raph scowled at Mikey's smile before he realized something.

"This is the first time since Leo died that we've smiled."

Splinter smiled, "Leo always was the one to laugh with."

At the same time the Shredder had a smile on his face as well. If they cared about Leo this much, then killing him would be all the more fun.

* * *

><p>Leo panted slightly as he jumped from roof to roof, searching for the HQ.<p>

Which would've been alot fucking simpler if he knew what it was. Being dead for ten years did that.

But even though the streets and people had changed, one thing hadn't.

Leo still loved his family, and would die trying to save them.

Finally finding what he hoped was the HQ, he hid behind a heater on the building and brought out his katanas.

He was glad he'd trained. Making them himself, blade, handle and sheath, was no easy task, but he had managed to do it, and also master the use of them. All in under two years.

It was all he had.

He knew he probably would die, but that didn't matter. Getting his family out came first. Whether or not he came out with them, was not his choice.

**next **chapter** preview-**

Then the first fell. The second, then Leo was inside. He was suprised at himself. Still only six and he had killed someone.

Oh well.

He only did it for his family.

Keeping to the shadows, he slipped passed countless others, searching for a surveilence room of any kind.

He knew he should feel terrible, disgusted even with the fact that he's killed, but it was not so. Whenever the guilt began to form he just thought of his little brithers, hurt and scared, the guilt disappeared.

He could only hope they were stronger now.

* * *

><p>Sorry the chapters are so short. was going to be a oneshot but a single reviewers request got me going with the typing. Just jotting it down as I go. I wrote this at 11 PM and have to get up at 6, so just go with it. Reviews are appreciated!<p> 


	4. Warped

_summary-crazy bonkers, insane, mad, warped, whatever you wanted to call it. Its what's happening to Leo. After all, killing isn't good for ones mental health. Especially a six year olds._

* * *

><p>It was so simple Leo almost laughed. There they were, just walking the hallways, waiting to feel the sting of his blades.<p>

They were so foolish.

The first fell. Then the second. No fun at all.

Oh well.

He only did it for his family anyway.

Keeping to the shadows, he slipped passed countless others, searching for a surveilence room of any kind.

He knew he should feel terrible, disgusted even with the fact that he's killed, but it was not so. Whenever the guilt began to form he just thought of his little brothers, hurt and scared, and the guilt disappeared.

He could only hope they were stronger now.

He attacked with the furiousity of a lion, pouncing and slashing the foot til they would practically beg for their lives.

If they could.

Leo was esctatic. All of the anger he had held in, at his family, at these pathetic foot, he was finally releasing. And it felt amazing.

He was running through the hallways, jumping up stairways and slashing through foot, when doubt crept into his mind.

_'This shouldn't be so easy.'_ His Master had said the security was incredible, so incredible that they had gotten captured.

So where was it?

Smiling as only a child could to, he cut through a last foot ninja. As the body fell he saw a door close quickly. He was no murderer,  
>but he had to find it.<p>

Pushing open the door, he was suprised to find it was the survielence room. He ran to the screens, searching for his brothers as a figure crept up behind him.

"Lights out freak." The man held up a knife, ready to strike him down when said freaks head turned, and he glared at him with all the hatred in the world.

"For you."

The man's head fell to the floor and Leo looked away with sad eyes. All this killing could warp a child, and it took all he had just to hold himself together.

_'For my brothers. Everything's for them!'_ he repeated in his mind each time he killed.

Shaking his head, he returned to the screens and he had to smother his laughter, "That's one big dude!" He ruffled through some files on the desk and found the man's name to be Hun. "What a stupid name." It also said he was a trained killer, but that didn't bother Leo much.

_'Maybe he's the reason Master and the others were taken.'_ he thought bored. Hopping off the desk, he sighed, upset he hadn't seen his family on the cameras.

The second he exited the room, he was off. His feet hit the floor with barely a sound though each step sent him flying. His bandana tails whipped his head and he closed his eyes, purely out of boredom. Regardless, he made every turn with precision, passing some foot and killing others, though the ones he killed increased each time he saw the blood dripping from his katanas.

It truly could warp you.

* * *

><p>Hun smiled as the smell of blood hit him. Flexing his muscles experimentally, he prepared for the idiot he was sure had barely managed to kill those who now lie dead.<p>

He sure as hell wasn't expecting a child.

* * *

><p>Leo rounded the corner and paused. The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, "Wow you really are huge!" A smile spread on his face.<p>

Hun decided he my as well humor the child before he killed him, mutant or otherwise.

"What do you want kid?"

Leo's smile fell, "Do you know who it was that captured Splinter and the others?"

Hun's brows raised, "You're with those things?" he shrugged, "Shredder got em, in person."

Leo noticed the absence of the word, master. "Do you work for him? You don't seem to like him very much."

"You don't need to like your boss kid." His eyes set on the katanas in his hands and he frowned. "What made you kill these idiots? Killing warps people, especially kids."

Leo steadied himself, "Like I don't know that," and charged.

Hun blocked his swords and was about to smash him when Leo slid between his legs, jumped off the floor, and landed on Hun's back.

Hun twisted and swung his fists at him but nothing he did could get Leo off him. Leo lifted a katana, and plunged it into Hun's shoulder, earning a scream of pain.

Hun fell to his knees and wrenched the blade out, throwing it across the room, eyes full of shock and pain, "How did you-?"

"Are they here?"

"Why should I talk!"

"You aren't like the others. You don't want to fight. If you did, I'd be dead."

Hun's face filled with confusion, but he decided to whisper a responce.

"Yes."

He was silenced when Leo pressed a pressure point on his neck and his head lolled to the side.

"You were much funner then those others. Lets fight again, When I finally understand." And he ran.

* * *

><p>Splinter frowned, staring at the ground. Ever since Leonardo had returned, he had been worried of what was to come.<br>At last he decided to voice his thoughts.

"What shall happen regarding Leonardo? He is, after all, still only a child."

The others looked worried now.

"You got a point. If he's anything like he used to be, he'll probably try to convince us that he's still the oldest, ect." Mikey sighed.

"I hope he does." Raph grunted, "id' tell us that he hasn't changed."

"Yeah," Don sighed, "but I'm still worried. What if he's gotten himself killed?"

"Aww. He'll be fine. This is Leo were talking about! If HE can't kill himself, no one can." Mikey's grin faltered at the memory.

"He shouldn't have needed to kill himself." Splinter whispered.

"At least he forgives us. I mean, why else would he try to save us? Mikey asked.

"I doubt he forgives us. Its probably more a matter of, he's still the big brother. Its his job to help us." Don answered.

"But not anymore. Now, were the big bros. And we gotta make sure nothing like this happens again." Raph frowned.

They nodded in agreement.

* * *

><p>Leo sighed. He had passed door after door, killed person after person, and still there wasn't any sign of his family. He was about to turn and retrace his steps when a thought popped into his mind.<p>

_'If the Shredder took them, he's probably still with them.'_

Closing his eyes in annoyance, he flicked his blades, causing blood to rain down, dotting the tiled floor. He didn't know where you would keep one of the strongest fighters in your clan, but he had a pretty good idea.


	5. When will you understand my pain?

Mikey shifted in anticipation. Where was Leo? "You think he's ok? He's still a kid."

"Yeah, but that just means it'l be easier to deal with him," Raph said smoothly.

"Oh yeah? So you remember nothing of what he was like as a kid then?"

"But we've changed Mikey. Were older now. We have more experience. More training," Don said.

"Then how did Leo get in her so much easier then us? How come he hasn't gotten captured yet?"

Don sighed, "I don't know. What do you think master?"

Splinter sighed, eyes tightly closed.

"Sensei?"

"I am trying to get through to Leonardo, but there is to much conflict in his mind."

"What do you mean?"

"As you just stated, he is still only a child, yet he has killed so many. There is much confusion, anger, and fear clouding his vision. And one other emotion that frightenes even myself."

They didn't want to know.

Mikey sighed, "I hope he's ok."

"Yeah, me to bro."

Then the Shredder's voice boomed out the speakers. He had forgotten to turn the intercom off.

"What do you mean he beat Hun! That weakling can't even beat a Child? Damn it all, where is he now?"

Their eyes widened.

"He beat Hun?"

Splinter mumbled, "I knew he was training in secret, but to this extent..."

"What do you mean he's here?" Shredder yelled, just as the nearest door opened to reveal a calm Leo. The two rooms were separated by 10" bulletproof glass, but his brothers could see him perfectly.

"Leo," Mikey whispered, eyes wide in shock. The others didn't even speak.

Leo walked slowly forward, blood dripping from his body and katanas, splashing on the floor. A smile was on his face as he faced the Shredder.

"And you are the Shredder I'm guessing. You need to get better help. Hun told me about you. Didn't seem to fond of you."

Shredder almost laughed, "I would have been suprised if he was. So, humor me child, how did you defeat him? Trick him? Lie? Kill?"

Leo sighed, "I've killed enough for today."

His family's worry for him grew when they saw his eyes. They looked so angry...

It didn't seem like he had seen then yet, so Shredder used that to his advantage, "You are an worthy apponant. Why not join me? If you do so, your family shall be freed."

Leo chuckled, his family's eyes not once leaving his body, "Really? So you'd torture them for almost ten years, and then just let them go? Why?"

"My child, I only tortured them because they're weak. You who beat Hun and earned not a scratch, are not. It took all of them just to land a blow. But together they are strong, they were just missing one person. Think boy. If you made such a difference in their power, what you could do to mine..."

Leo was annoyed now, "So you hurt them, to prove how easy it was to hurt them? You're a freak, you know that, right?"

Shredder's patience was wearing thin, "Enough boy, now choose! Join me, or I'll kill your family."

Leo sighed and turned to face his family, who jumped, thinking he hadn't noticed them.

Raph was covered in cuts and make shift bandages. Leo figurd he hadn't done a good job protecting the others.

Splinter's arm was obviously broken, and blood was running down his head. Again, not a good job.

Don had bruises all over his body, and a rather large one spreading on his side. It had to hurt.

Mikey, suprisingly enough, had only a broken leg, nothing more. They all had cuffs on their wrists and ankles.

And at the moment, they were staring at him as if, if they looked away, he'd disappear.

Leo smiled and turned back to the Shredder.

"Have you made your choice?"

"Yeah, just one question first," Leo said softly, so his family couldn't hear.

"What?"

"Why aren't they hurt? Scratches and bruises and broken bones aren't real pain. And besides, I'm sure master trained them to be accustomed to such physical pain."

"I'm not done yet. If your answer is what I think it is, then the mental pain shall begin."

Leo nodded and drew his katanas in front of himself, eyes darting around the room, trying to find some sort of escape.

He found it.

Giving a yell, he threw his Katana towards Shrdder, who side stepped it easily. "What was that? Your aim is terrible."

Leo grinned, "Wasn't aiming at cha."

The Shredder's eyes widened and he turned just in time to see the blade impale his controls and exit out the other side, tip just going into a red chip.

Shredder whirled around, "You brat! What have you done?" As lights started flashing and a woman started counting down over the speaker system.

Leo shrugged, "Hey, it's not my fault all villians are idiots."

The Shredder scowled and a wall exploded, revealing a helicopter, its spinning blades tearing chunks of cement from the walls. A ladder was dropped and he grabbed it, and the next second he was gone. **(Just go with it)**

Leo whistled, "Wow. He sure didn't waste any time," He calmly walked over to the controls and removed the small red chip from his blade, then crushed it. Immediatly the lights stopped and the woman stopped counting.

"Like I said. Idiots," He grinned at his family, who just stared confused back at him. Remembering what he had done the grin slipped off his face and he pressed a few buttons on the controls. The glass rolled up onto the ceiling and the cuffs opened.

Raph stood shakily, rubbing his wrists and just stared at Leo.

Don helped Splinter to regain his balance and stand.

And Mikey wated no time. He ignored his leg and jumped at his brother, sobbinng and hugging him to death. "Were sorry Leo! Please, were sorry!"

As the others watched, Leo without any hesitation, hugged him back, whispering comforting words to him. His katanas fell to the floor, blood slowly drissling from them.

"Mikey, it's okay. Don't worry. I'm back. It's okay. He's gone. Everything will be alright. You can go home now. Don't worry. Mikey..." Leo bit his lip, knowing the words his brother desperatly wanted to hear. But he couldn't say it.

He might never be able to.

As Mikey's sobbing quieted, Raph opened his mouth to say something, but paused when Leo suddenly stiffened, "Hun's woken up. We have to go. Now."

"What?" Leo turned to Raph, anger clear in his eyes.

"You made mistakes when I was gone. Don't let this be another," and without another word, he picked up his katanas, and began walking away.

Raph, who normally wouldn't have been able to keep his mouth shut, didn't say a word. He walked over to Mikey and had him lean on him, his arm draped over his shoulder.

"Thanks Raph," Mikey mumbled.

"Don't worry about it bro."

"He didn't mean it you know. I'm sure he still loves us, so don't worry. He said everything will be okay."

Don walked beside Splinter, who was cradling his arm. Wincing, he slowed his pace, so as not to hurt himself further.

Exiting the room, they finally realized just how angry their brother had become.

* * *

><p><strong>READ OR BE DESTROYED<strong>

Sorry. I thought it was to early for a battle with the Shredder. Anywho, please **READ AND REVIEW**. And Leo made a fake almost self destruction.  
><strong>I'm thinking about writing stories for my favorite reviewers and dedicating them to them. So please, review.<strong>  
><strong>HEY READ THIS<strong> _I appreciate criticism, but don't review just to tell me how much you think it sucks. If you do, I'll sic Leo on you._

_Leo-Don't you think she wont. Gisir9898 does not own Ninja turtles._


	6. One word is all I need

"Oh my god," Mikey whispered, covering his mouth with his hand. Pain filled Splinters eyes and he looked worried at Leonardo.  
>Raph closed his eyes in dread and Don gasped, his eyes wide.<p>

Leo sighed and, without looking back called, "You comming?"

They continued forward, stepping over each corpse they passed. They wanted to vomit. Never would they have imagined the destruction they had caused. Corpse after corpse littered the floor, slick with their own blood.

Of course they had killed their fair share of ninja, but this was just...they couldn't find a word.

Ridiculous?

A flash caught their attention, and Leo stopped.

"L-Leo? You okay buddy?" Mikey stuttered, watching his brothers back worried.

Leo gave a sudden lurch, then fell to his knees, coughing violently into his hand. Blood dripped through his fingers, falling to the floor.

"Leo!" They moved to go to him but froze at his words.

"Don't move!"

By now, they had learned to listen to him, and they didn't even flinch.

Leo lurched again and more violent cought wracked his small frame, blood splattered onto the floor, his eyes closed tightly.

Mikey whimpered, wishing he could do something to help, as did the others.

Leo reached up to his neck and pulled out a paper thin needle, a speck of his blood at the tip. Coughing one last time, he stood shakily, then pointed to a wall, shoulders slumped.

"It came from there. Donnie, don't let anyone else get shot. If they had one, they'll have more."

Don nodded and ran to the wall, inching alone it until he found a pin prick sized hole, and blocked it with a corpse. He then immediatly ran to Leo, "Where does it hurt? Do you know what it was? Are you dizzy at all? Are you-"

Leo chuckled and brushed him away, "Relax Donnie. I'm not going to die. Not right now at least," he forced a pained smile, then continued walking, though much slower.

His brothers shared a look with eachother and Raph nodded to Don. Next thing Leo knew, he was on Don's shoulders. He scowled, "Hey! Don! What are you-"

"Don't pretend your not hurting Leo," Leo stopped talking. "Were your family, and whether you like it or not, we care about you." Leo opened his mouth but Don silenced him. "No objections."

Leo gave a sincere smile, "I was going to say, Thank you." He let out a yawn and Raph chuckled.

"Aw. Someone sweepy?"

"Hey, if you'd gone through what I did, you'd be tired to. To die, then come back in what feels like the same day. Then kill hundreds of people and save my family. I'm not invincible you know."

"Yeah, we know now," Mikey whispered.

"Hey, Mikey?"

"Yeah Leo?"

"I love ya bro. And you guys to. I love you," and with that, he conked out.

Raph smiled and put a hand on Leo's head, "We love ya to."

"Hehe, Yeah!" Mikey grinned.

Don smiled up at his brother, and shifted so he was more comfortable.

Splinter hung behind and picked up the needle Leo had dropped. But all he really wanted to do, was watch his sons. A smile on his face.

* * *

><p>I wrote this in ten minutes, but hope you liked it. Next time, they'll be at home.<p> 


	7. I don't want you

Leo woke up, hoping beyond hope that everything was just a dream. Not wanting to open his eyes, he let his exhaustion roll over him again, longing to return to the forgiving darkness, but with no such luck. There was something soft beneath him and it took him a minute to remember who's shoulders he was on.

"Hey, Don," Mikey said uncertainly, "how long will he be asleep? Were almost home." At the word, 'home,' Leo's eyes finally shot open and he sat up but held back a groan of pain.

Don stopped walking and bent down, let Leo slid off his shoulders and then placed his hands firmly on the others small shoulders. "Leo? Can you hear me?  
>Were almost home now. Are you able to walk?"<p>

Leo nodded and stumbled forward, eyes forward. They watched him warily for a moment before following behind. While he was walking, Leo slipped his katanas out of his sheaths and held them in front of him. He just stared at them, running his fingers over the red liqued coating it, coughing every once in a while.

Mikey's eyes widened and he whispered, "Hey, Sensei? What was that last emotion you said Leo felt? Was he sad or scared or what?"

Splinter sighed, but before he could answer, Leo did for him.

"You know what insanity is, Mikey? It's what happends when you make a kid kill," he laughed sadly, "and, it really sucks." He then added to himself in an undretone,  
>still looking at his blades, "This is never going to come off. Crap."<p>

Slipping his katanas back into the sheath, he didn't see his families expressions.

Raph growled and shouted, "Look Leo, it ain't like we forced you to kill them, or yourself for that matter! Why'd you go and do that? We didn't want you to die! Why don't you care?"

Leo turned to face him and Raph shut up immediatly. Leo's eyes were filled with malice and his fists were shaking. "You," he panted, "you think I wanted to die? I'M ONLY SIX!"

Raph stepped back and the others watched with wide eyes, hoping to finally learn the true reason behind their brothers death. "I didn't want to die. You think I'm strong but I'm not. _I'm scared!_ I'm just a kid!" He sobbed, tears running down his face.

"Why can't you just leave me the hell ALONE!" His eyes widened and he fell to his knees, blood splashing on the floor, dripping from his mouth. He hugged himself, whispering words of false comfort.

Don ran to his side and cursed, "What was in that needle?" He picked Leo up again and started running to the lair, the others following behind. It didn't matter if Leo hated them.

They would protect him this time, whether he wanted them to or not.

* * *

><p>sorry again for it being so short.<p>

Leo- that's ok. Just, don't let me die ok?

me- but I thought you didn't care?

Leo-...

Me- *gasp!* Could it be? You're starting to-

Leo- Shut up!

me- *snicker* anyways, review please!

Leo- each time you don't, a Raph kills a Mikey.

Mikey- Freaking wonderful.


	8. Wanna play a game?

He was surrounded in darkness. Not even a speck of light could penetrate its inky walls. Vaguely, he registered hearing a feminine voice calling to him.

_'Leo. Leo. You need to wake up now.'_

In the back of his mind, he felt someone's hand in his, and listened harder, this time being rewarded with his brothers voice.

"Don, I'm worried. What do you think was in that needle anyway?" Mikey he thought.

He heard a sigh, "I don't know Mikey. I examined it over and over again and found nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I don't know what's wrong with him."

Just laying in the darkness, Leo had a thought. Maybe it wasn't the needle. Maybe it was...

He searched his memories, but drew up a blank. 'Am I sick?'

The hand in his tightened, hurting him slightly, but he wa relieved. He grasped onto the pain, trying to stay alert, not to drown in his conciousness.

"Don, he moved!"

Leo frowned mentally, 'Raph?'

* * *

><p>Leo struggled, but after a few minutes, he was able to open his eyes. He was lying on his shell, his mask layed out beside him. He looked sround, taking in his familiar surroundings.<p>

"I'm home?" he whispered hoarsly. Hearing a sound on his right, he turned his head and looked at his brother.

"Yeah bro, your home now," Raph smiled and Leo felt a pang of guilt.

Talking hurt his throat, but he whispered, "Raph, I'm so sorry," Raph's eyes widened, "What I said was wrong. I-I know its selffish but-" He took a deep breath and let his eyes close, "I left you. But, please, don't leave me. No matter how much I deserve it."

A hand was placed on his arms and he felt more then saw his other brothers.

"Wouldn't dream of it." 

* * *

><p>Not realizing he had fallen asleep, Leo opened his eyes. They were foggy at first but after blinking a few times, his Fathers concerned face appesred.<p>

"My son, are you alright?"

Leo opened his mouth to speak but immediatly stopped. He just didn't have the energy all of the sudden. This did nothing to ease his fathers worry. Through half lidded eyes, he watched as Splinter stood and exited the room without another word.

Leo took this time alone to re-view the room he was in. He could only assume he was out for a considerable ammount of time, due to how clean it was. A few hours prior, it had been ransacked, debree and garbage everywere. Now, there was nothing resembling it in sight.

From the look of things, he was in a medical room. He was lying on a makeshift bed, a pillow placed carefully behind his head.

He whimpered softly and, summoning all of his strength, tried to stand from the bed. Keyword; tried. He fell back, and let out a louder whimper of pain.

Not three seconds later, his father returned with his brothers.

"Leo!" Don rushed to his side, gently checking him for injuries. Finding none, he sighed in relief. "You okay bro?"

When he recieved no answer other then an occasional gasp for breath, Don looked worried at Splinter.

"He has been like this since he woke."

Raph scowled, 'Don't tell me were going to lose him again.'

Something soft brushed his leg and he jumped. Mikey broke out in a grin and picked said furrball up. "Klunk! I'd wondered how you were doing. Sucker in some family did ja? Figures."

Klunk purred and jumped from his arms, landing softly next to Leo. "Aww, Klunk missed him to!"

But while Mikey was bust admiring his cat, the others were staring stunned at Leo, who had opened his eyes and was now staring at the cat. All of the sudden Leo smiled and reached up shakily to pet him. Klunk responded by purring and leaning into his touch, causing Leo to grin wider.

Klunk walked onto his plasteron and lay down, resting his head so he was always looking at Leo, who was just watching, amused.

"Hey...Klunk," his whisper barely audible. Then, he turned and looked at his family, "Hey guys..."

"Hey Leo!" Mikey grinned, "How do ya feel? Gave us quite the scare there buddy."

Leo just smiled warily. Nodding slightly, he said, "I'm fine Mikey. Don't worry." Unconciously he reached up and began petting Klunk again, enjoying the feel of his furr beneath his fingers.

"That's good."

Raph sighed, then placed a hand carefully on Leo's shoulder, "Hey, Leo...about what I said when we were kids...I'm sorry."

Leo smiled sadly at him but gave no response. Instead he tried once again to sit up, and succeeded with the help of his brother. Mumbling thanks, he asked what had been going on.

Mikey grinned, "Weve been updating things around here. Y'no, cleaning, survielence, tv, video games, tv, food, did I mention tv?"

Raph hit him over the head, smirking, "No, I don't think ya did."

"Oh, well in that case-!"

He was silenced by Raph's hand over his mouth and was tackled to the floor, his muffled laughter breakinh through.

Don sighed, "My family, I swear..."

Hearing this Leo smiled again. "Um...Mikey?"

Mikey paused in his laughter, :Yeah?"

"Can I play a game with you sometime?"

The smile that appeared on Mikey's face could rival that of the Cheshire cat's. "Of course! We can right now if you-"

"I, think not," Splinter cut in. "It is late, and we are tired. We will discuss this in the morning."

As if on cue, Leo yawned, making Raph and Mikey snicker. Don rolled his eyes and helped Leo to lay down again. He then whispered, "Don't count on getting very much sleep with them in the house." He gave a final smile and pushed his brothers from the room, followed by Splinter.

Raph called back, "Night bro!"

"Yeah, night Leo!" Mikey shouted.

A small smile flickered across Leo's face as his eyes closed. Klunk curled up on top of him and he placed his hand on him.

He knew there was something he should've been thinking about, but for now, he just wanted to enjoy being back with his family. Even if It only lasted a moment.

* * *

><p><strong>I wrote this at 12:10 PM so ENJOY IT!<strong>

ME- I have been told I am not allowed to kill a Mikey...

Mikey- yes!

Me- but maiming is apparently ok so...

Mikey- what!

Raph- *cracks his knuckles* come here little brother...

Mikey- Nooooo! *runs away*

Leo- *smiles* always the most mature, *leaves*

Me- *cries* _Forever alone..._


	9. Just the boy and the girl

Leo was the first one to wake. He sat up slowly, stretching to get the kinks out of his neck, and stood carefully from the bed.

_'It's my home, so no harm in wandering around a bit.'_

Exiting the room, he immediatly headed for his brother's room. Sticking his head in the room he laughed quietly. Raph was lying on the floor snorring, weights were layed out on the floor and a radio sat in a corner. He was about to leave when he saw two sai's laying next to Raph.

Curious, he walked quietly over to them, running his fingers over the sharp edge._ 'Cool,'_ he thought, a smile on his face. He accidently pressed to hard and brought his thumb away. He wiped away the blood without looking at it. Raph stirred and Leo ran from the room, and didn't stop until he reached the dojo.

Stopping suddenly, he hid partly behind the corner, suprised that his father was in there. His legs were crossed and his back was to him.

"Leonardo," Leo jumped and hid back farther. Splinter stood and turned to face him, smiling softly when he saw him. "Why do you hide my son? Come, join me."

Leo stepped forward uncertain, then ran to his father and hugged him. "I'm sorry sensei. I shouldn't have left."

Splinter hugged him back, "You are forgiven." _'But are we?'_ he couldn't help but think.

Leo pulled away and smiled, "So what were you doing?"

"I was meditating. Join me."

It wasn't a question and Leo knew that, so he sat down and watched his master. Chuckling, Splinter sat back down and closed his eyes, his hands in his lap,  
>legs crossed. Leo coppied him.<p>

"First, you must breath. Let your mind wander. Feel the sky above your head, the earth beneath your feet. Relax my son. Nothing bad will happen."

Leo nodded and did so. Letting his mind wander, he relaxed and just was. He felt the world around him. Felt the balance of life. But he let it wander to much, and found himself in his memories.

He re-lived the moment he died. The pain, the fear, the tears. Everything. He felt the ground when he hit it. Saw the blood glistening on his blades as they flew through his enemies. Felt the crimson liqued splash onto him, staining him. Felt the pain and fear flow through him like water.

_'I thought nothing bad was going to happen.'_ he thought desperatly.

Suddenly a warm feeling went through him, from his feet to his head, and a gentle sounding voice rang in his ears.

The girl giggled, _'Hey sleepyhead, time to wake up. You gonna sleep forever?'_

Leo smiled and opened his eyes thinking_, 'Why does that voice make me so happy?'_ and jumped. Splinter was staring at him, worry on his face.

"Leonardo, are you alright? You had a look of pain."

Leo smiled, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just remembering some things."

Splinter didn't look convinced, but at that moment, the others walked in, happy to see Leo, but worry crossed their faces when they saw Splinters.

Leo grinned, "Good morning!"

Mikey grinned back, "Leo you still wanna play games today?"

"Of course! I want to spend time with all of my family!" Leo smiled on the outside, but on the inside, he still wondered about the girl's voice he had heard in his head.

_'She sounded so familiar...'_

Mikey grabbed Leo's wrist and promptly dragged him into the living room.

"It's gonna be so fun! I got Black Ops, Halo, Super Mario Bros, Rock Band, Castle Crashers, Final Fantasy, and a bunch others!"

Leo just looked stunned at the pile of games in front of the tv. In the corner of the room was what he assumed was the Rock Band instruments.

"Um...what do you want to play?"

Mikey shook his head, "Nu uh Leo. YOU get to choose. I can play them whenever, but you probably wont very often."

Leo sighed, walked over to the pile of games and randomly slid one out. Looking at the cover he snickered. Mikey blushed and grabbed it, "Um...not that one."

He chose another. "Portal?"

Mikey grinned, and whispered, "Yeeeeessss..."

He threw a controler to Leo and put in the game, "You just wait Leo. I'm gonna beat you!"

**TEN MINUTES LATER**

"WhaaaAaat!" Mikey whined dropping his controler. "How did you- you cheated!"

Leo smiled, "I liked that game. To bad it didn't last very long though..."

"Yeah Mikey. Looks like you need to train more!" Raph laughed but immediatly stopped at seeing the smirk on Leo's face.

"Speaking of training-"

"NO! Not already!" Mikey whined, desperatly trying to suck up to his master, who was not in the mood.

"Leonardo is correct. We made many mistakes. We must train more in order to insure they never happen again."

Mikey sighed, "Fine," and Don snickered.

They started walking out of the room when an idea suddenly struck Leo. "Hey wait a second!" They looked at him, startled, "can I check the news? I want to know whats going on!"

Without waiting for an answer he grabbed the remote and switched it on, staring at the screen.

Don looked at him strangly, "Why the sudden intrest?" But Leo wasn't listening. He was staring frozen at the screen. The others followed his gaze and listened to what the reporter was saying.

_"This just in. A boy was found dead just a block from his home. 7 year old Joseph Stewart was the terrible accident of a robbery gone wrong. The robber still has not been found. His Mother and Sister are grieving and wish for anyone with information on the robber to please, call. Back to you John-"_

Mikey whistled, "Man, that sucks. Poor kid."

"Feel sorry for the family, not the kid," Raph said, then continued to the dojo. Mikey followed with Splinter but Don stayed behind, waiting for Leo. Leo was just staring, eyes wide at the floor. Pure horror in his eyes.

_'Joseph. Joseph. Oh my god please. Please don't let it be him. Please.'_ Then his picture lit up the screen and Leo's head whipped up, only to have all of the hope disappear from his face.

"Joey," His voice cracked and Don looked at him, worried.

"Did you know him Leo?"

Leo coughed and wiped his eyes, "Yeah, he was my friend." Without another word he walked past Don into the dojo. Just as he stepped foot in there, a thought shot into his head.

_'He was seven. I was gone for ten years. He was my friend. What's going on?'_

Then he suddenly recodnised the voice singing softly in his head.

_'What happened to Carter?'_

* * *

><p>Hope you liked it. Mega cliffhanger, but with the rate I'm writing, it shouldn't be for long.<p>

Leo- You better let her be ok!

Me- maybe.

Leo- growls

?- What are you guys even talking about?

me- sorry. I'm SO bored. Dun wanna go back to school.


	10. Bright and Crimson

Leo sipped his water, mind elsewhere. He was eating with his family, but at the same time, not.

_'Carter. Joey. What happened while I was gone?'_

He could remember meeting the two twins in the park, just a few days ago to him.

They had seen what he was, and had been his only true friends. That had been before he had killed himself. The twins, had not run from him, not been scared.  
>Instead, they had held his hand when he cried, or laughed with him when he was happy.<p>

They were the best of friends.

And now Joseph was dead.

Leo didn't care anymore how he knew them, he just knew that he had to find them. So what if they were only seven, and he had been gone ten years. So what if there should've been no way they knew eachother. They did.

And he wasn't about to lose both of them.

He was so deep in thought that he didn't hear Mikey calling him.

"Leo? LEO!"

Leo jumped and nearly fell off his chair.

Mkey sighed as Leo got back to his feet, "What's going on dude? What's wrong?"

Leo shook his head, "It's nothing." He picked up his water again and drank it slowly.

"Leo, you need to eat something. Water alone wont keep you alive," Don scolded, stabbing his own food with his fork.

Leo coughed quietly and pushed his plate away, hopping from his chair. He mumbled, "I'm not hungry."

They watched him walk away, concern on their faces.

"What do you think's wrong with him?" Mikey whispered.

"Probably nothing. He is just a kid after all. Just not used to being the little one," Raph shrugged, shoveling food onto his mouth.

Don sighed, thinking about the needle, which had still refused to give any results.

Splinter said nothing.

* * *

><p>Leo sat on the couch in the living room, resting his eyes. His throat prickled and he coughed quietly, frowning when it wouldn't go away.<p>

He was developing a headache, that he was sure of.

Groaning, he fell into the pillows, hoping for some relief. He didn't even jump when something furry jumped on his head, and, with his eyes still closed, he smiled.  
>He reached up and began petting Klunk.<p>

"Hey Klunk. How are you doing?"

His mind wandered back to Carter and Joey when he said this, and Klunk felt it. He nuzzled Leo's cheek, making the child giggle.

"That tickles!"

A crash from the kitchen made him jump and spin around just in time to see a red liqued quickly spreading over the floor. In a second he was at the door, frantically looking at his family.

They jumped at his sudden arrival.

"Hey Leo. Sorry for the mess," Mikey grinned while trying to clean up the liqued. Leo wasn't listening. Instead he was staring at all the red.

"What-what is it?" He asked, voice breaking ever so slightly.

Don frowned, "It's juice Leo. Mikey was getting it and dropped the glass."

Or course. Juice. It was juice Leo. Calm down Leo. Just juice. It's not like it's...It's juice.

Leo didn't realize he was shaking until Raph pointed it out. "Leo, you ok? Why're you shaking?"

A broken laugh jumped from Leo's throat before he could stop himself, "No reason! It's only juice! Why would I be scared?"

Splinter frowned, and stood, alone with the others, "We never said you were my son."

Leo stopped laughing and coughed into his hand. A hacking sound that practically screamed for him.

He regained his composure, "I apologise for my actions. I didn't mean to, act like that." he coughed again, quieter, "I truly am sorry."

"Dude don't be sorry. Just tell us what's going on. You're freaking me out."

"The red. All of the red...everywhere...staining everything. I never want to see it again," A grin spread across his face, "But now when I think about it, I just have to smile! What's wrong with me?"

Without waiting for an answer, Leo ran into his room, locking the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Leo sat on his bed, arms around his legs, kmees drawn up to his chest. He was rocking back and forth, smiling widely.<p>

He was sure he was going insane.

And somewhere...he was happy about it.

He didn't want to deal with it anymore. The pain. The sadness. The things he did, the people he killed. The images wouldn't leave his head.

Klunk brushed against his leg, and he didn't care enough to wonder how he had gotten in there. He picked the cat up and hugged him to his chest.

And then the cat was gone.

But Leo had to wonder. Was he ever there in the first place?

* * *

><p>Leo's gonna get a pet. What yuu wan it to be? And how would you feel if the pet he got was...i don't know...the cheshire cat...? :)<p>

This probably wasn't what you expected, but I had to find a way to remind you of what he went through. Can you take a guess as to what he thought all the red was?


	11. Blame

Now they were seriously worried.

"Something's really wrong with him," Mikey frowned, his concern for his brother growing.

"I agree my son. Something is terribly wrong."

"Do you think something really was on that dart?" Raph asked.

Don sighed, "We've already gone over this. Maybe, but I didn't find anything on it. More than that though, I think this is a matter of..."

Raph stiffened, "Don't say it. Don't you even say it Don. He's not- he can't be-"

"Insane?" Mikey snapped. Raph growled at him, "Face it Raph. Our brother, is going insane, and its OUR FAULT!" He screamed the last part.

"We know that Mikey, but now isn't a time for blame. We need to think. What can we do to help him?" Don asked.

Mikey thought a moment, "Well, judging by how he acted with the juice...we should get rid of anything even remotly resembling blood."

Splinter nodded, "It is a start."

"Um...what about a pet?" Raph asked, hesitantly. "We all saw how good he was with Klunk. Maybe a pet of his own would cheer him up."

:No Raph thats-" Don stopped, "That's actually a good idea!"

Raph frowned and Mikey snickered, "And why are you suprised?"

* * *

><p>Leo was drawing. He had recovered his pen and paper hinned in his room, slightly suprised to find them at all, and was drawing his heart out.<br>He didn't think. He let his hand do that for him.

His emotions played out in his hands. He was reveling in what he assumed was insanity. He liked it, but knew his family didn't. He made a mental note to try and hide it more. Staring at the paper, he was suprised at what he drew.

A human girl was standing on an ocean of black. Pitch trees surrounding her, bold against a white moon, She had dark brown hair and bank eyes.  
>In her arms was the body of a small boy, her tears falling onto his face. In the distance, you could see what he knew was him, bent over in despair,<br>but lips open in a frozen laugh.

He brushed the paper away, eyes closed, and grabbed another. He didn't need to be reminded of Joseph and Carter just now. All it brought was pain.

He thought of happiness, hoping to have something, anything, to show his joy, locked deep in his heart, but instead, all he found was rage. His pen stabbed into the paper, leaving dark creases, lines expressing his mind numbing anger. He drew The Shredder, on his knees, life draining out of his eyes,  
>and himself, holding the hilt of a katana that was imbedded in his torso, a twieted grin on his face.<p>

He sighed. Apparently, the pain of his family had angered him more then he had thought.

He started his search again, and wandered back to what he was trying to avoid, and suprisingly found happiness.

He drew himself, Joseph, and Carter, holding hands, spinning in a circle, lips parted in joyous laughter, happiness sparkling in his eyes.

This brought a smile to the current Leonardo's face as well, and a glint of that childish joy returned to his eyes. A knock at his door made him jump, and he quickly his his drawings behind his back. Raph entered seconds later, and seemed suprised though nervous at the happiness in his brothers eyes.

"Hey Leo. Were going topside for a run. Do you want to-"

"Yes!" Leo answered before Raph could finish, and, forgetting his drawings, raced out of the room. Raph chuckled and caught the pages before they touched the floor.

His eyes widened, "Donnie!"

* * *

><p>Don eyed the drawings nervously, handing them to Splinter and Mikey.<p>

"I don't know what to make of this."

"It looks like he was so mad when he drew these two, but its as if he put love into this one of him and these kids," Mikey observed.

Raph frowned, "Isn't that the kid from the news?"

"Now that you mention it, Leo did say he was friends with the boy. But he was only seven. How could he...?"

Mikey sighed, "And yet another question."

Leo chose that moment to stick his head into the room, a huge grin on his face, "If you don't hurry, I'm leaving without you!"

Splinter laughed and answered, "Alright Leonardo. We're coming."

Mikey snickered and Raph his him over the head, HARD, "What the hell is wrong with you?" **(1) **

* * *

><p>Leo was suprisingly calm for someone who had been ursting with excitement only moments prior. You could say he even looked, scared.<p>

Splinter patted him on the back, encouraging him silently. They were in disguises of course, as three adult mutant turtles, one rat, and a kid turtle would OBVIOUSLY be welcome without hesitation...into a laboratory.

Leo had been trying to figure out where they were going, and had caught his brothers smirking at him when they thought he didn't see.  
>The last time he had caught Mikey, he had snapped, "Why do you keep looking at me?" Mikey had responded ny grinning and shrugging,<br>somwthing that did nothing to ease Leo's annoyance.

About a block away from their destination, Leo figured it out. He had stopped walking and let a goofy smile cover his face. His brothers were eager to return the smile.

"You mean it? I really can?"

Don nodded, "Yep! Go on ahead. Choose someone nice!" But he was already gone. Running through the door to the pet store.

In the short amount of time it took them to reach the door, Leo had looked at almost every animal in the store. He ran up to Raph and shoved a turtle in his face.

"I'd be funny huh?"

Raph smiled and pushed him gently away, "Nice try. Keep looking," then thought to himself, _'I feel like a mother out with her kid. jeez..._' He found himself wandering to the dog section, while Don stayed in the reptiles, and Mikey ran to the cats.

Leo found he liked a wide variety of the animals, but none of them, he felt, were the right one. Disappointed, he turned to get his brothers, when a whine met his ears.

He turned around in time to see a worker roughly shove a patch of snowy white into a dog carrier, and struggle to pick it up. He ran to the man, "What's in there? Where are you taking him?"

The man seemed startled but answered anyway, "I'm not sure, but no one wants him. I'm supposed to put him down."

Leo found himself growling deep in his throat, "You mean kill him?"

"Yeah. Why?" The man was unfazed.

"I want him. Give him to me."

The man started, "But you don't even know what it is! Why would you want it? Nobody does!" The occasional whimpers in the carrier had ceased, as if whatever inside was listening.

"I don't care. No one wants him, so let me have him. You'd have more free time, and I'd take the job off your hands." The man thought for a moment, before he handed Leo the carrier, though reluctantly.

"Fine kid, but don't come crying to me when it hurts you!" And with that the man walked off.

Raph came up to Leo, the others following behind him, "So what'd you choose?"

"They were going to kill him, but I saved him. He wont die now."

The stared at him, before Mikey broke the silence, "So what is he?" He tried to peak into the carrier but the creature inside growled and he backed away.

Leo placed the carrier carefully under his arm, and followed his brothers from the store, no answer given.

* * *

><p><strong>(1) if you don't get it, well...just forget about it. Not worth explaining. Now if you DO get it, you as well as me, have some immaturity issues.<strong>  
>SO what do ya think it is? I'll give you a hint. One of the reviewers got it!<br>Also, I'll try to draw what Leo did and put it on my Deviant art, so Keep your eye out!


	12. Flashes

"I shall call him 'Squishy,' and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy."

Those were the first words out of Leo's mouth when he returned home, much to the shock of his family.

"Multiple Personality's much?" Mikey grinned, earning him a light punch on the shoulder.

"Just be glad he's happy now," Raph said, and indeed, Leo was as giddy as a school girl.

He had a huge grin on his face and was hugging the carrier to his plasteron, not once loosening his grip as he walked to his room.

"Hey LEO! Tell us what it is first!"

"I will in a minute!" was the response, and Leo ran the rest of the way, leaving a train of coughs behind him. Don sighed and pinched the ridge between his eyes.

"When will this end?"

"What do ya mean Donnie?" Raph asked, "Are you saying you want to take his childhood away from him again?"

Splinter sighed, "My son's please. No fighting. At least, not out here."

Mikey whined, "No! We have to train already?"

Raph hit him upside the head and Mikey grinned sheepishly, "Kidding, kidding."

A scream was heard and their heads snapped up. Something couldn't have happened already, could it?

Leo.

What happened to Leo?

* * *

><p>Leo ran to his room, squeezing the carrier all the way. He had his suspicions as to what his new pet was, but he wanted to be sure.<p>

He set it down by his bed and placed a three fingered hand on the latch, but hesitated. He walked behind the carrier and opened it,  
>leaning against the back. He prepared to jump, but nothing came out. He thought for a moment, and slowly walked around to the front.<br>Bending over as to see inside, his eyes widened, and he was overwhelmed by white fur, a startled scream accidentally slipping from his lips.

* * *

><p>Leo's family tore through the halls on their way to his room, fear obvious on their faces. Just a second from yanking open his door,<br>a new sound made them stop short.

Was Leo laughing?

They took a few breaths and calmly opened the door. They smiled.

Leo was laughing his lungs out, his face being licked by the wolf pup that was standing on him. He was on his shell, trying and failing to get him off, and only succeeding to fall back again. Between his laughs, he coughed, though they lessened the more he laughed.

A flash went off and Raph rolled his eyes.

Don went to pull the pup off of Leo but when he was an inch away, he growled, his red eyes flashing dangerously. Don's eyes widened.

The red.

Leo?

But it seemed as though Leo didn't care. When Don backed away, the pup immediatly went back to licking his face, making giggles erupt from his mouth.

Mikey grinned. Finally, something good was happening. "So, Leo," he said casually, and Leo sat up, holding his friend to his plasteron, "you still gonna name him Squishy?"

Leo stuck his toung out playfuly, a light blush covering his face, nothing needed to be said.

"So then, what's his name?"

Leo looked at his pup and he in turn, looked back. Leo stared at the fiery red, thinking, then said slowly, "Let me be with him first. I'll name him based on his personality."

Don nodded, "Good idea."

Splinker and Mikey nodded to Raph, and he followed them from the room. While Leo was with his new friend, they had some...things to hide. No need for a replay of earlier.

Leo sat up, grabbed and slipped something behind his shell and ran to the lair door, the pup obediently following behind, "Is it ok if I go up to the surface?  
>Just for a little while?"<p>

Don fidgeted for a moment, before caving, and pulling something that resembled a shell from a pouch at his side, "If anything happends. ANYTHING, you call us. Got it?"

Leo nodded, grabbed the cell, and ran, having no idea how to use it. The pup ran at his side, eyes glittering. If you asked Leo later, he would say he had smiled at him.

* * *

><p>Mikey looked confused at first, then understanding, then purely terrified.<p>

"NO NO NO NO NO! Raph I will not do that!" He ran from his older brother, but was soon caught and dragged into the kitchen.

"Oh be quiet. You're making my head hurt," Raph sighed and pushed him into a chair, "It'll be funny. We all need a laugh."

Mikey jumped up again, but was denied escape by Don, who pushed him back down, standing in front of him, "No...I don't wanna," he pleaded.

"Mikey, someone has to give him, _'that talk'_, and since master isn't a turtle, Raph's no good at these things, and I'll be busy watching for danger, that leaves you."

"What the hell brought this on! One second I'm playing video games, and the next, I'm supposed to talk to Leo about Se-"

He was silenced by a sai at his throat, "Please stop whining Mikey. Remember, I can maim, just not kill," he smirked and Mikey whimpered.

Splinter just sighed from his place at the couch, returning his attention to his most loved soap operas. What brought this on indeed...

* * *

><p>Leo shivered, amusement and a bit of fear creaping onto his face. What the heck was going on at home? He could only wonder.<p>

* * *

><p>Me- . What should I name the pup? the last paragraph was completly random, and I couldn't resist the squishy.<p>

Leo- whats the big deal? Whats going on? _cough_

Me- why are you still coughing?

Leo- _cough_, I don't know. Its, _cough_, your story, why dont you tell me?

Me- but that would make a reviewer somewhere happy...

Leo- COUGHcheepassCOUGH

Me- What was that dear?

Leo- _smiles _Nothing Ma'am.

Mikey- I hate you. Please don't make me do it.

Me- And now time for our spectal guest star! Come on out!

Yugi- what is wrong with you?

Me- _whines _aw...you're no fun. Wheres Atem?

Atem- NO! YUGI! PUT ME BACK INSIDE THE PUZZLE!

Me- This is why I'm usually ANTI SOCIAL!

Naga- Ohohohohohohohoho!

Me- OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT STOP TYPING!


	13. OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN

Ahem! I would like to apologise ahead of time for this chapter, and would like you all to know, that I have NO IDEA what the hell I am writing.

WARNING- Traumatization will occur in young turtles and wolfs.

* * *

><p>Leo's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. He had gotten back from the surface only minutes ago, and now couldn't wait to go back. He stared at the brother in front of him, who, in turn, stared awkwardly at the wall.<p>

"What?"

Mikey shuffled his feet nervously, "Well, Leo. When a mommy turtle loves a daddy turtle..."

"NO NO NO! Don't explain it again!" Leo shouted frantically, clapping his hands over his ears, while on the other room, Splinter and the others could be heard laughing.

"What the hell brought this on Mikey?"

"No swearing!" Don yelled, and Leo rolled his eyes.

"But really. Why the sudden topic? Even my wolf is cowering in shock over this!"

Mikey couldn't help but glance over at the unnamed animal huddling in the corner, a traumatized look on its face. The poor little guy.

"It's not like I wanted to talk about this! I was forced by my sadistic brothers and evil Sensei!" This earned another laugh.

"You should let him play that game he found earlier! Help him learn more!" Raph yelled, causing Mikey to blush, and earning a smirk from Leo.

"Yeah, _'Big Brother_,"

_'Oh Shit'_

"Let me play that game of yours. It looked, _'very'_ interesting. I'm sure it was kid friendly, right, _'Big Brother'_?

_'OH SHIT.'_

Raph's laughter now filled the entire house, mixed in with Don's and, not suprisingly but also completly shockingly, Splinters. Leo just couldn't help himself. In no way did he want to go back out now. While Mikey was occupied with his panic, Leo slipped out of the room and grabbed the perverted game he had found earlier, and locked himself in his room. Not a second later was Mikey pounding on the door.

"Leo! That's not even funny! Get your shell back out here and give me my game!"

Leo snickered and faked innocence, saying loudly, and in a childish voice, "Oh wow! None of these girls have tops on! And its so perky! I bet they're _'really'_ cold!" A thump from outside told him he was successful, and he opened his door, stepping over the unconscious body of his brother, greeted by the grinning faces of his family.

He smiled back, "That was fun! But were NEVER having this talk again!"

* * *

><p>ME: Please, someone tell me...what the FUCK, did i just write. WHAT ARE YOU ALL TURNING ME INTO!actuallythatwaslotsoffun...<p>

Leo; Okay, that was REALLY fun!

Mikey; I think...I'm going to kill myself.

Pup; Whimpers from corner.

Raph: Oh WOW. We have to do this again! Maybe Leo really SHOULD play that game.

Splinter: (in a rare moment) No way in hell, Raphael.

Mikey: YAY! Rhyming sensei!

ME: seriously. What the hell's going on?

And even though that was a REALLY short chapter, I think it was worth it. ^u^


	14. White

Leo sighed sadly as he sat in his room on his bed. He was tired after the going on's earlier. Mikey had woken up and, quite irriteted, had taken his game back, to which Leo didn't resist.

He had a sudden urge to continue working on his drawings, and slipped his hand under his bed to get his sketch pad.

He almost panicked when it wasn't there.

His heart felt as if it had stopped beating. His breaths coming faster, he frantically searched his room, overturning books and paintings, until he spotted his drawings near the base of his door.

_'How in the hell did these get over here?'_ He asked himself silently, then, deeming it unimportant, shrugged and hopped back atop his bed, pen in hand.

He gently traced the outlines of the smiling children, who seemed to burst into life. Each stroke of his pen brought happiness and joy flowing from the paper. As he admired his work, something in his chest felt constricted, and he brushed the paper away, and started anew.

For, when something is happy, only sadness can balance it.

He started drawing himself. He drew his view from atop the building he had so willingly jumped from, the cars small dots beneath him. As his hands moved faster across the paper, more and more ink was smeared onto the page. White became blotches of black. Happy became despair. Every fiber of his being screamed betrayl, and he wasn't suprised when he felt tears run down his face.

His chest felt tight again, and he coughed slightly, frowning. He growled quietly and switched his gaze to his wall, eyes narrowing instantly.

White.

He growled louder, and threw the pen at the wall, shattering the fragile plastic, splattering black across the blank paper. His eyes widened.

_'My chest doesn't hurt anymore.'_

He looked again at the white seeping through the cracks in the darkness and the hurt returned slightly. He growled and stood, another pen in hand.

_'I was sick of the white anyway.'_

He tore into his walls, covering every inch. Any color would do. Blue, Green, Purple, Yellow, Orange, Black. Even Crimson.

As long as it wasn't white.

He caught himself giggling while he worked, furriously destroying the bleak white of his walls.

"Fucking white."

He heard a light mewl behind him, and spun around to face a cat. The cat was bright orange, with flaming red eyes. The cat was smiling.

And Leo smiled with her.

The wolf pup suddenly growled, startling Leo, as he hadn't realized he was in the room. The pup ran at the cat, tearing into it until it disappeared suddenly.  
>Leo stared in amusememt, before picking the pup up, who immesiatly calmed in Leo's hold.<p>

Grinning, Leo whispered into the pup's ear, "I've got a name for you."


	15. Growing pains

I kinda feel like this is a shitty chapter...but whatever! Enjoy my randomness. Kudos to those who figure out whats going on b4 leo spills the figurative beans.

* * *

><p>Leo stared at his walls, a blank look on his face. His eyes were caught in the wonderful colors splashed there, still dripping slowly down the stained paper. He pet the pup in his lap lovingly, nuzzling it softly. Hearing a knock on his door, he grunted an 'enter'.<p>

Mikey stuck his head through the doorway, the words on his tongue dying when he saw the state of his brothers room. He opened his mouth, paused, and closed it again, before he said anything.

"The others and I are going up to the surface. Do you want to come, Leo?"

Leo hummed in thought, before nodding and standing. The pup, still in his arms, flashed a glare in Mikeys direction, before cuddling against Leo, his fur brushing against the wall in the process, staining the white fur. He coughed slightly, vaguely aware of a slight pain in his back. Shrgging it off, he cleared his throat and walked past Mikey towards his family.

When he went to follow his brother, Mikey paused, staring confused at him.

_'Did Leo get taller?'_

* * *

><p>Leo grimanced, small blooms of pain blossoming in new parts of his body. Whenever the ache would cease, a new would begin. It annoyed him, but he didn't let it show.<p>

His brothers however, weren't as good at hiding their emotions.

They followed Leo across the rooftops, watching as his legs tenced as he jumped, his pup obediantly following beside him. They ran behind him, uneasy at what Mikey had revealed to them only minutes before.

Talking quietly, they worried amongst themselves, not knowing that Leo could hear every word.

"I don't know what to do about this predicament." That was Splinters voice.

"Somethings deffinetly wrong with him," Leo felt a tug at his chest. Donny too?

"Guys, I'm seriously starting to think he's crazy! He scares me sometimes..." Leo visibly flinched. Mikey...

"Theres nothin we can do about it. If Fearless wants to be all insane, well, what can we do about it?" Raphael.

Leo frowned, closing his eyes. He let his pups barks and occasional growls tell him what to do, when to jump. He was greatful for the noise. He didn't want to hear his family anymore. It hurt his heart that they thought such things of him.

He wasn't insane. You can't be insane and know you're insane, therefore, he obviously couldn't be.  
>He wasn't crazy. That implied he was off his rocker. Completly disturbed.<br>He was something different alltogether.

A harsh bark brought him out of his thoughts, and he opened his eyes to discover he was approaching the edge of a rather long jump. Several yards if he thought about it. Clearing his mind, he didn't even consider stopping. He reached the edge.

And he jumped.

His family immediatly sped up, fearing he would not make the jump, and angry they were not paying attention.

Their worry was for nothing.

Leo easily reached the edge, pup safely by his side, and continued running, not bothering to check if his family was still with him.

His family who, were frozen in their tracks.

"Why does he, do that?" Mikey asked quietly?

"I think, he heard us," Donny stated.

Raph growled, "It's his own damn fault for snooping," but flinched in guilt.

Splinter sighed, "Once again, my children. I can offer no answer."

That seemed to be happening a lot lately, but no one had the heart to say it.

"What should we do now?" Mikey asked.

Raph was silent, and Donny answered instead, "Let's...go home. He doesn't seem like he, wasnts anyone around." It was an excuse, but they gladly took it. They didn't have the strength to look for their brother.

And it made them sick.

* * *

><p>Leo sighed, not faltering in his run. He had senced the moment his family had stopped following him, and was not in the least suprised when they turned and ran.<p>

He had his pup. And soon, hopefully...he would have.._.

Said pup barked playfully and Leo smiled at him, coughing slightly.

"You wanna go somewhere secret with me, Caleb?"

Caleb stopped running, halting his owner in the process. Leo watched him carefully, before choking on the air. He coughed, more violently, and felt something shift inside him.

He bit back a scream, and his eyes widened.

_'Shit!'_

Caleb nuzzled his side and Leo fell to his knees, coughing violently into his hands.

_'What's happening to me!'_

Leo was scared. He had no idea what was happening to him, but a small voice in his head had an idea. His back started to ache, muscles stretched and bones pulled ever so slightly. Caleb watched him sadly, craning his neck. Leo glanced at the pup, and his eyes narrowed.

He whispered, _"No way."_

And then he screamed.

* * *

><p>Leo's family were about to remove the covering to the sewer known as their home when they heard him scream.<p>

Immediatly they started running, the same thoughts runing through each of their minds.

_'How are we so selfish as to keep failing him!'_

_'He died for us, but we can't live for him.'_

And when Leo heard his family's rushed footsteps, he screamed again. The steps became faster, and he was pulled into his fathers shaky embrace, His whimpers forcefully stopped.

Splinter hugged his son, the four of them trying everything to get Leo to feel better, safer. And felt useless when nothing was helping.

"Leo," Mikey whimpered, "You gotta tell us what's wrong."

His only answer was Leo's silence. The poor kid looked like he was on the verge of tears, but refused to cry. It broke their hearts. He took a breath, and pushed his fathers arms away. He stood shakily, only to fall to his knees again. Before his family went to him, Caleb ran to his side, helping the wounded child to his feet.

Leo nodded apreciativly, and turned to face his family, a small grin plastered on his face, "Stop worring will ya?" He coughed, small flecks of crimson dotting the ground. His family flinched.

He chuckled, "Everything's fine. Not like I'm gonna die or anything." His smile grew as his family's concerned gaze het his, and he laughed quietly, the laugh not quite reaching his eyes.

"H-how can you be laughing Leo? You...you were just..."

"Screaming in pain?" They flinched again, "Yes, I suppose I was. Well you shouldn't be so suprised. I did this a lot when you were kids." They opened their mouths in shock.

"But you never...we would've known-"

"Do you know that I'm afraid of heights?" His words made them all stop. They hadn't known. He continued, "Did you know that not once have I completly regretted what I did ten years ago? Are you aware that I'm scared out of my mind! Do you fucking know that I can't stop!" He screamed the last, bending over in pain, arms pulled against his stomach.

The four of them stood there, helpless as to what was consuming their brother. Leo suddenly ceased laughing, a blank look overtaking his face.

"Did you know that I'm terrified?" He repeated, quietly. "I'm not going to die, but...I can't stop..."

Raphael grimanced, before taking a small step forward, "If you're gonna be alright, then what's wrong with you now?"

Leo sighed and stood stright. Caleb jumped into his arms, lightly licking his cheeks. Leo smiled and stared past him at his family.

"I'm growing."

They just stared at him, confused.

"What do you mean your growing?" Mikey asked.

"Growing doesn't make you cough up blood and feel pain Leo." Raph argued.

Leo growled quietly, and sat, Caleb still in his arms.

"My body, doesn't want to be a kid anymore. If it continues as it has been, I should be almost your ages in a few weeks, maybe days."

Splinter frowned, "But your mental state..."

"Is perfectly stable. I already have the mentality of a teenager. My body's just finally decided to catch up with me, I guess."

* * *

><p>Hmmmm...review it. Tell me how shittybeautiful it was. Oh and I have a new pole. VOTE ON IT or at least look at it. On my profile.

Oh and even if you did think it was shitty, al least you know what's going on now...sorta. Any ideas are welcome.


	16. What's even going on anymore?

Leo groaned, bored out of his mind. His family, after learning about his growing problem, had, in a sense, hauled his ass home. The second he got there he was put on medications and set on the couch in the living room. The only thing said to him was, "Don't leave again."

He took that as a 'keep your ass on this couch or else' threat, and stayed put. It humored him, to think about how his family, though supposed to be his younger siblings, were now all older than him.

He had to wonder, what would his world have been like, if he had just sucked it up, and been a big brother? If he had been there for his family, and been stronger?

Would the Shredder be dead by now? Would _they _all be dead? He would never know.

And it _bothered _him.

For the first time since he had woken up, he regretted his choice in dying. Resting his head on the back of the couch, he decided something. When he grew up, he was going to change. For his family, he would be the son that Splinter had wanted.

The son that he never had the chance to be.

Feeling a tightness in his back, Leo braced for the pain of another growth spurt. The pain meds wouldn't help. They were in to small a dose.

His eyes widened, and shot around the room. When had his family entered? Mikey was on the other couch, playing his Xbox, but his eyes were really on Leo, and Leo could tell too. Raphael was in the corner with his weights, also watching Leo out of the corner of his eye. Splinter was watching a smaller TV from the doorway into the kitchen, though he was also, watching his eldest youngest son. Leo didn't even want to look at Don, because he knew the tech loving turtle would be watching him as well, so he didn't.

He sat straight, and waited.

But no amount of waiting could have prepared him for the levels of pain that he experienced. When the wave hit him, he gasped quietly in pain and folded in on himself, his fingers digging into the couch.

He prayed with all his heart and soul that his family hadn't noticed, but of course, nothing's ever that easy is it?

Of course, Don was the first to make it over.

He laid Leo on his shell, and straightened his limbs, so as to make the process as painless as possible. Leo hissed when he felt his spine grow, his skin stretching to fit his skeleton.

The others watched by his side, knowing there was nothing they could do to help him.

When it was all over, Leo was shaking, his breath coming out in short gasps. Standing back, his family gaped at him. Leo had grown half of a foot.

Donnie flinched. There was no way on earth that this process would be painless with him growing that rapidly. Don's eyes widened. Would Leo continue to grow past his regular age? Would his body know when to stop? He could only hope so.

When Leo caught his breath, he sat up shakily, and said quietly, "I'm going for a walk."

Caleb pranced around his heels as he walked shakily out of the lair, and his family nodded at each other.

He wouldn't go out alone. Not this time.

Leo jumped across the rooftops, searching. He wanted to know the truth behind the firl and boy that wouldn't leave his mind.

Caleb was at his side, and Leo grinned to him, "Now we can go to the secret place I was talking about, huh Caleb?"

Caleb barked in agreement, his crimson eyes flashing in happiness.

In a short amount of time, Leo reached a small part, in an opening of buildings. Not bothering to look for people, he jumped to the ground, Caleb in his arms temporarily.

He recognized the park from a picture he had drawn, of himself spinning in a circle with Joey and Carter.

He needed to know the truth, and he needed to know now.

"Joey! Carter! I know you guys are here! Come out now!"

From where they were watching, Leo's family watched as he called out to people they couldn't see. From Leo's point of view, he saw two children walk towards him hesitantly. From their point of view, they saw Leo still, and stop moving.

"What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know. Multiple personalities?" Raph offered.

Don sighed sadly, "Truthfully, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised. Hell, Schizophrenia is even an option at this point."

Mikey whimpered. "God damn it. What's going on?"


	17. This is important please read

Im putting this on all of my stories. Apparently, the FF authorities are going to mass delete all ff stories that are inspired by songs, have sexual themes, or are violent, which i think is absolutly stupid.

There's a petition you can sign here to make this not happen.

Sigh it and spread the news!

www. change petitions/fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net (without spaces at beginning)


	18. Immortals

Holy shit I actually thought of a plot for this story. I now know how its gonna end. Have fun in the read.

* * *

><p>Leo's family watched as Leo seemed so slowly slip out of whatever had rendered him frozen. Leo looked around hesitantly, before he looked at people they couldn't see.<p>

Leo stared at his friends, the two six year olds who had been with him before he had killed himself. He frowned, and looked to where he had known his family would follow him. Before the two could say anything, Leo asked a question.

"Can they see you?" He received a shake of the head. "Why not?"

Carter's voice echoed back, though she had not opened her mouth to speak. "We do not wish them too."

Leo frowned, "I don't want them to think I'm crazy. At least appear to them for a second, if nothing more."

Leo's family watched as Leo talked quietly to something they couldn't see, then they were left speechless. In the space of a second, they had seen Carter and Joseph. Donny immediately turned to his family, "That boy is dead. He was on the news."

Mikey snorted at him before returning his gaze to his brother, "Well, he's alive now."

Raphael growled quietly, "I wish we could hear what they were sayin."

Splinter said quietly, "My sons, I do not know what to make of this. Is Leonardo not mentally ill?"

Donny shook his head, "Not sure. It's obvious that he was somewhat sane _now_, considering the kids are apparently real."

Raph snickered, "Well, fearless was kicked outta hell wasn't he? What reason'd he have to lie?"

Mikey whispered, "Shhhh! They're talking again!"

They started listening again just as Leo said, "Why are you alive? You shouldn't be here. Not like you are."

Carter answered, though Leo's family did not hear her, "Leonardo, we have a confession to make. My brother and I… we are the devils work."

Leo lifted an eye ridge, "What?"

She sighed, and Joseph decided it was time to talk for his sister, "We are immortal, Leonardo Hamato." He paused, waiting for Leo to laugh, to not believe him, but was pleasantly surprised when Leo only nodded.

"Go on."

Carter smiled at her brother, "You took that extremely well, Leonardo."

"That's unimportant. Continue with your explanation of…this." At the word, explanation, Leo's family perked up, hoping that somehow, they would get answers.

Carter smiled, "We were born long before you, and will die long after. However…we don't want to. We didn't choose to be immortal. When we met you, all those years ago, you accepted us. You gave us hope. We needed you to live. So when you died, we had Satan throw you back."

Leo groaned, "So you're the reason I was kicked outta hell. You brat." She giggled, causing him to smile at her. "So why did you choose me?"

Her smile dropped, "You're different Leo. You're kind. You're caring. But our time is running out."

Leo frowned, "I thought you were immortal." Leo's family were shocked, only able to hear Leo's side of the conversation.

"Immortal?" Mikey whispered excitedly, but was hushed by Raph.

"Shut up! He's talking again."

They heard Leo talk, "-can that be?"

Carter sighed sadly, "Someone's going to find us. They want to hurt us. We don't know who it is, but we know that when they find us, we wont be able to escape. Death is a scary thing, especially when you can die over and over, and still be forced to live in the end."

Leo winced, "That sounds terrifying. Is that what happened to Joey?"

Joseph nodded sadly, "Yeah. Hurt like hell too."

"What do you need me to do?"

They became serious, "We need you to grow up. As quickly as possible. You're strong now, but when you grow up, you become extremely more powerful. Trust me, we need you to grow."

Leo nodded sadly, and indicated to the stretch marks on his limbs, "I seem to be doing a lot of that lately."

They nodded, "It will be painful, but you must bare with it. The keeper will help you bear the pain."

Leo frowned in confusion, "The keeper?"

Carter nodded, "The Keeper. The dog. Caleb." She said simply. "He's much more than he seems. He's older than we are, actually."

Leo's eyes widened in surprise and he looked at his wolf, "Really?" He smiled. He was about to ask another question what he felt a pain on the back of his neck. His eyes widened in fear, _'So soon? My body can't handle all this!'_

As if hearing his thoughts, which, Leo realized, she very well could have, Carter said, "Caleb will help with that. You will still feel the pain, but he'll keep anything from tearing or breaking. Just make sure you hold him, and hold him tightly."

Leo nodded, then said quickly, "I have to go now!" Nodding in understanding, Carter whispered something to him, before she and her brother disappeared.

Leo's family watched in surprise as Leo suddenly picked Caleb up, and sprinted away.

"Oh no you don't fearless!" Raph yelled, him and the others running after him.

Suddenly, Leo was gone. He had taken a secret path that Carter had told him about only seconds before. It led him to the last place his family would think him to be at.

He went back home.


	19. Temper Temper

Sorry about the recent lack of updates. My computer has been giving me shit. Anyways, enjoy the chapter! Ps Leo's at his house currently.

* * *

><p>Leo shivered, his breath hitching as he felt his bones cracking, his muscles straining to tear, but being unable to due to the small animal tightly in Leo's three fingered grasp.<p>

The six year old was scared. He had been scared for far to long, on far to many occasions for his liking. He had to many questions he would never get the answers to. Was he even six anymore? His lips clenched together tightly, desperately trying to stifle the noises of pain bubbling up in his throat. His fingers held onto Caleb as hard as he dared without hurting the animal.

He didn't know if Carter was truthful about the wolf helping him grow, but he wasn't about to risk the consequences of letting go.

An excruciating pain ripped through his throat, and he coughed violently. As the pain in his limbs and back began to ebb away, his throat's pain became all the more severe. He released Caleb for favor of holding his neck weakly, eyes stinging as he coughed into a hand. And all at once, the pain stopped. Going limp on his shell from the stress, his hands flopped at his sides.

After catching his breath, he slowly became aware that the hand that had been covering his mouth was wet.

And as he stared at the blood on his hand, he moved his mouth to speak. The result made his eyes widen and his tears overflow.

He couldn't talk.

* * *

><p>Raphael hated the rain. It was one of the many things he learned that night, while searching pissed off for his brother.<p>

The four of them had been searching for hours, and in that time the sky had darkened and the rain had begun. No one was happy when, in the end, they had to retire to their sewer home for the night.

But everyone was surprised when they found a certain turtle had beaten them.

* * *

><p>Leo had dozed off after he had coughed up blood, and woken to find himself still alone. At some point, the blood had dripped off his hand and stained the floor, which made him huff grumpily. He started to talk, but immediately folded over on himself in pain from the effort.<p>

'_Mental note. Don't talk.'_

He glanced around before stiffly pushing himself to his feet. Caleb appearing out of nowhere to help balance him. He hadn't the energy to thank the wolf, verbally or otherwise, so he simply leant against him, limping tiredly into the living room. He was to tired to notice the remaining blood from his hand drip onto the floor as he walked, not that he had the energy to care anyways. Once there, he gratefully collapsed on one of the couches, an arm hanging limply over the side. Caleb licked his fingers, before sitting and watching the tired child sleep.

It was around this time that Leo's brothers got home. The first thing they saw, was the blood. And through all their irritation, tired concern began to leak through. They quietly followed the trail to the living room, where they saw Leo collapsed on the couch, looking worse than before.

They watched him sleep, uncertain as to how to proceed. They wanted to scold him, to get angry at him. To yell and scream at him. But at the same time, they loved him. And the blood indicated he was either attacked, or there had been another growth spurt.

As Don took a quick visual of his height, he had to agree on the latter.

His anger finally bursting through, Raphael snapped. Growling lowly, he started at the broken boy before violently jostling him and lifting him by his shoulders. Leo woke immediately, a pained gasp tearing his throat and causing him to slam his lips shut in agony.

Don frowned, "Raph-"

"Shut up Donnie! You know you wanted to do this too." Don fell silent. Raph glared at Leo who, after getting a hold on his pain, looked up at his brother, hurting and scared, but trying hard not to show it.

It was when Raphael started yelling that Leo's mask started slipping.

"What the hell is wrong with you Leo? Are we not good enough for you? Is that is? Is that why you always fuckin' run away from us when were only tryin' to help ya'?" Leo stopped his lip from shaking.

"Do you not care that you worry us all the time! Do you not care about yourself enough to stop fuckin' running, and just let us help ya'!" Leo couldn't stop his eyes from misting over.

"Do you not care about us at all Leo! Do you want us to leave? Cause we will! I'll walk out of here right now. Leave you the hell alone so you can be a hardhead by yourself! Is that what you want? All of us to leave so you can stay here and do what you think is 'best' by yourself!"

Raph took a sharp breath, before yelling, "This is hard for us too Leo! You're not the only one hurting!"

Leo's mask dropped completely as he watched his brother. Raph had his eyes closed tightly, and his shoulders shook before he opened his eyes and firmly said, "Leo if you tell us to stay, we'll stay. You just gotta let us know." He looked hopeful at his now younger brother.

Leo's eyes widened in desperation. He didn't know if he was even able to whimper in his current condition, let alone talk. Raph apparently lost his patience, as he dropped Leo harshly back onto the couch before mumbling, "Whateva' I'm leavin'."

Watching his brother walk away from him, Leo discovered he didn't care about his voice anymore. He jumped off the couch, his arm stretched out in front of him, reaching desperately for his brother. While ignoring the pain in his limbs he yelled, "Raph wai-!"

And that was all he said before the pain made him black out.

Don yelled, worried as he caught his suddenly falling brother. Raph stared, shocked into silence as he had to watch blood gush from his brothers mouth as he drown in his sleep.

Realizing this, Don immediately turned Leo half onto his side half his stomach, so the blood dripped quietly to the floor, and not back onto Leo's lungs.

Raph forced himself to overcome his shock, before he started to apologize. He immediately shut up at the look of venom Mikey gave him.

"And that," Mikey spat coolly, "is why you keep _your fucking temper _in _check_, Raphael."


	20. Eye Sore

Just realized that in the beginning it was Donny and now its Donnie…..fuck. Or not I have NO idea. But let's return to Donny shall we? Sorry if you see a slip up. ;n;

_**EDIT- I would like to dedicate this chapter to Rose Black Dragon, for sticking with me and supporting my stories! Thank you very much RBM! :D**_

* * *

><p>Donny sighed, pinching the ridge between his eyes. The three turtles and one Rat were waiting exhausted for their Leo to wake up. After the initial shock had worn off, Raph had joined in helping Don see what was wrong with Leo.<p>

After placing Leo onto a table carefully, Don had, after examining Leo for several hours, concluded that he had severe tearing in his throat amongst other parts of his body; though his throat was by far the worst.

Now, as everyone sat together by the couch on which their brother lay, they realized they had to set some barriers.

"Raphael." Splinter started, "Your violent temper has caused one of your brother's pain. It has done so in the past, and I had hoped you had learned from that, but it seems as if that is not the case." Raph looked at the floor, quiet for once. "Donatello. You have tried to support your brother, as we all have. And I believe that we all thought Leonardo wasn't trying at all. I hope you and your brothers have realized that, due to recent events, we were wrong."

Donny nodded, and Splinter turned to Mikey, "Your concern for your brother shouldn't keep you from having a relationship with your other brothers. Support Him without snapping at your family."

Mikey looked like he wanted to protest, but instead closed his eyes and nodded. "As for myself, I will try and be more patient with him, as we all should. Keep in mind, he is only six, although his body may look differently. We've forgotten this fact, simply because Leonardo said his mind was old enough. He was only half correct." Splinter took a breath, "Just because one is able to think like an adult, doesn't mean that they can't be hurt like a child."

There was silence, before Splinter once again turned to Don. "Donatello, how are Leonardo's wounds?"

Donny sighed, "His throat is incredibly torn. I don't doubt that it will heal, but until that happens, he should avoid talking as much as possible. His whole body should be sore for a while, due to the general growth spurt, but it's not his body I'd worry about."

Splinter looked up sharply, "What's wrong with him?"

"His body will continue growing to our age, most likely, which means he has ten years of growing to catch up on. Unfortunately our skeleton and muscles aren't the only things that grow."

Raph frowned at him, "What else is there?"

"Well for starters, all his organs will need to grow, which will most likely cause painful spasms. His eyes will also need to grow, which will strain his head and give him migraines. The fact that his brain has to grow also wont help that."

Splinter closed his eyes, a pained look on his face, before asking what no one wanted to know, but they had to, "Will this growth effect Leonardo's mental health? Will his brain be over stimulated and… burn out?"

Don frowned, and looked over at his Brother, who was still asleep on the couch. "I think…if his body were to die from this, he would be dead by now. He might be more moody and he will have headaches which we wont be able to do a lot about, but other than that I'm not entirely sure. He shouldn't die, but he might suffer minor brain damage. Nothing that wouldn't heal with time though."

Mikey let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, "That's not very reassuring dude. I don't want Leo to be brain hurt. It's almost as bad as being butt hurt."

That stopped Don in his tracks, and he and the others stared at Mikey, who just grinned sheepishly. "What?"

Don shook his head, a small smile on his face, "Maybe Leo's not the one I should be examining, huh Sensei?"

Splinter nodded seriously, though a smile was spreading to his face as well, "Indeed my son. Michelangelo may indeed have brain damage, such immaturity." **(1)**

By this time, a pair of bright blue eyes opened silently, and watched with quiet amusement as his family playfully harassed his brother_. 'Some things never change, though Sensei has become rather lax on the maturity around here.' _He found himself smiling though, and looked around the room trying to find his little playmate. Not moving his body, he felt rather than saw white fur tickle his leg, and while his family was distracted, he turned his head to look at his pup.

Caleb was sleeping soundly, his red eyes slightly visible through a crack in his eyelids. Leo smiled, and carefully sat up to pet his cub. The burning in his throat hadn't gone unnoticed, and he hastily refrained from speaking a sound of any kind.

Remembering what had occurred not long ago, his eyes lingered on Raphael, who seemed to be happy harassing Mikey, but Leo caught sight of a small flicker of guilt go across his face.

Standing slowly and carefully, Leo left the cub on the couch, before walking unsteadily over to where Raph now stood, a few feet away from his other brothers.

With a small smile, Leo realized he was now almost tall enough to reach Raph's elbow. With luck he'd eventually be taller than Raph himself. Not wanting to startle his brother, Leo slowly wrapped his fingers in Raph's. Feeling the contact, Raph glanced down curiously, and froze when he saw Leo. Guilt washed over his face again, but Leo just smiled at him. Feeling the worry ebb away slowly, Raph hesitantly smiled back, before squeezing Leo's hand softly and letting go.

Leo was still smiling as Raph cleared his throat, catching everyone's attention. They looked at him confused, but brightened when they saw Leo at his side, awake and alert.

"Leo! You're awake!" Mikey yelled happily, jumping up to hug his brother. Leo tensed slightly under the touch, but quickly relaxed and hugged back, smiling.

Don smiled at him, "How's your throat feeling Leo? Any aches anywhere? Any other pains?"

Leo looked blankly at him, a smile pulling at one corner of his mouth, before Don's mouth formed an 'o' and he smiled sheepishly. In return, Leo's shoulders bounced in repressed laughter.

Don coughed, before trying again, "Lets do this again. Nod or something. Is your throat still hurting?" Leo made a pained expression, "I'll take that as a yes. Does your body hurt anywhere else?" Leo thought for a second before one by one, pointing to each of his limbs, then shook his hand.

"So you're hurting everywhere, but it's not that bad. That's good." Don smiled warily. "Now, what're we going to do now?"

Splinter blinked, not expecting the sudden question directed at him. He cleared his throat loudly, "Well, it's clear the Shredder knows about Leonardo, and I'm honestly surprised he hasn't made a move to hurt him." He frowned, "My sons, I am unsure of the future."

Mikey smiled, "Let's just hang out here and wait for Leo to finish growin' and heal up! They haven't attacked us recently, so we should be fine."

Splinter sighed, "A foolish idea, but the only one at present. Very well. We shall stay here for the moment, Leonardo." He looked at his 'eldest' son, who had a weak expression of pain on his face. Splinter's brow furrowed. "Leonardo." he repeated, catching Leo's attention; who immediately wiped the look off his face.

Splinter only became more worried, "Are you in pain my son? What is the matter?"

Don perked up, "Something's wrong with Leo?"

Ignoring him, Splinter tried to get an honest answer out of his son. "Leonardo what pains you? Is it something else?"

Leo frowned and closed his eyes, before he slowly brought a hand up to his head. "You have a headache?" Splinter frowned. Was Leo's brain already hurting him? Leo shook his head, and instead gestured to his eyes.

"Oh. I can explain that," Don nodded to Leo, "Your eyes have to grow with the rest of you, so that's just them straining themselves. You should keep them closed and try to relax them."

Leo only frowned at his brother, before closing his eyes and nodding. Splinter smiled, pleased that his son was taking the news so well; though he thought, it wasn't really that bad of news.

A bark caught his attention, and Leo relaxed as a ball of fur knocked him to the floor. He landed not to gently, and winced slightly as his shell made contact. Regardless he smiled and sat up to pet the cub that was now placed in his lap, licking his face. His family did not miss the look of pain on his face, and they couldn't help but think that the wolf cub was getting to be a bit more than he could handle in his state.

Suddenly Don piped up, "What do you guys wanna do? We could always spar or play Mikey's games or something."

Raph snorted, "Never thought you'd be the one ta suggest video games as a substitute to sparing." Don smiled at him.

"Well I doubt Leo would be able to spar with us."

Splinter agreed, "Leonardo will not be sparing with us today. But he is free to watch."

Mikey groaned, "You mean we have to fight? Dude that sucks!" Raph rapped his head with his knuckles.

"You'll live ya' dork."

Still pouting, Mikey walked off to the Dojo, Don and Raph following. Splinter smiled at Leo, "Will you be joining us my son?"

Leo nodded, but gestured to his room. "There is something you need?" Leo nodded and Splinter said, "Go on and get it. Meet us in the dojo when you are finished." Leo nodded once more, before running to his room. Splinter watched him run away warily, before turning and joining his other sons in the dojo.

Reaching his room, Leo glanced at his walls, and noted that they seemed dry finally. The colors he had previously thrown onto them were now dripping down his walls in dry rain. It was actually quite beautiful. Now suddenly cheerful, Leo grabbed his sketchbook, took all his drawings he saw laying around and placed them carefully inside, grabbed some pens and pencils, and set off back to the dojo.

Caleb ran at his heels, and glancing at the pup, Leo spotted a small patch of non white fur on his side. Stopping suddenly, he reached down and ran his fingers through the multi colored fur. _'Oh yeah. Caleb got dirty when I was painting my walls didn't he?' _Leo shrugged and continued running. _'Guess he'll need a bath soon.' _**(2)** He was pleased to realize that the pain clouding his eyes was, for the most part, gone; and happily ran the rest of the way to the dojo.

Reaching the dojo, Leo was just in time to see Donny fighting with Raph, and Mikey working on meditating with Splinter. From the looks of things, Raph was winning, and Mikey was uncomfortable with the one on one with his Sensei. Leo smiled and set his small book and pencils on the floor; and he took the time to fully examine the dojo.

There were tatami mats everywhere, and a rack or weights in the corner, like in the living room. Mikey had somehow convinced Splinter to put a TV in there, probably by mentioning his 'Stories.' Splinter did love his shows after all.

The only lighting were candles, and in the opposite side of the room, there were several logs stood up on their ends, screwed into the floor it looked like. A few feet above them, were ropes and swings littering the ceiling. He assumed they were used for flexibility and balance.

Looking at all the equipment, he wasn't sure how they obtained it, but he was sure of one thing.

He wanted to try it.

* * *

><p>Been a while huh? Hello I'm still alive! I'll try and update the other stories soon! No sequels have been started though; they wont be started until I finish at least two more stories. Sorry guys, but you know I love you. :)<p>

**(1) **Oh what the fuck am I doing?

**(2) **If you don't remember, I think it's in Chapter 14 'White'.


	21. Crease

Raph grinned, easily deflecting a blow from Don's bow and sidestepping him. "What's the matter Donny? Getting outta' shape?" He smirked.

Don smirked right back, before sweeping Raph's feet out from under him. Raph landed with an 'oof' and glared up at his brother. Don simply grinned and reached his hand out, "Whose the one out of shape?" Raph just smirked and took his hand.

"Ya say that now, but I will beat you next time." Raph grinned, before shooting a glance over to Splinter and Mikey. "Hey Mikey! How ya doing?"

Mikey looked helplessly at him, before whining, "It's so boring!" then moved quickly to avoid a getting a hit on the head from Splinter's cane.

"Michelangelo you must focus! Once again…" Mikey pouted as Splinter continued talking, explaining how to enter meditation as if it was the easiest thing on the planet.

Don lightly tapped Raph on the head with his bow, "What d'ya say? Want to spar again?"

Raph grinned, "Yeah! Then I can prove at fearless just how much stronger I am!" He glanced around before a frown came to his face. "Hey, where is Leo?"

Splinters eyes opened, "Didn't he return?"

The sound of something heavy hitting the floor made them all jump. Looking around for the source, Splinter placed his face in his paws, muttering, "Oh dear."

Mikey grinned, "What the hell is he doing?"

Leo was currently hanging from one of the ropes draped across the ceiling, one of the logs beneath him somehow unscrewed and rolling on the floor, bumping into those that were still screwed in place.

He smiled sheepishly down at them, though he looked slightly afraid, before jumping to a different rope and from there, jumping onto a new log, wobbling on his perch slightly.

Mikey grinned at him, "So he can do all that, but he can't spar with us. The heck!?"

Don frowned up at Leo, "Leonardo, I thought I said no training! Get down here!"

Leo looked at him, slightly amused, before looking straight down at the floor far beneath him, a strangled look on his face.

'_This wasn't a very smart idea. I can't understand how I forgot…'_

Raph watched him quietly, looking at how he seemed suddenly unsure on his feet. Remembering something, he suddenly spoke up, "Yer scared aren't ya?"

Looking up sharply, Leo stared at Raph, before smiling sheepishly again, and looking back down. Mikey gaped.

"What!? How the heck is he scared? He was swinging up there a second ago!"

Caleb caught Leo's eye, as the cub jumped up to the top of the logs, and started hoping to each one. Watching for a moment, Leo's eyes widened slightly, before he smiled.

'_He's trying to help me.'_

Caleb happily pranced from log to log, until he reached a spot that would allow him to get down without jumping straight down. Leo followed him hesitantly, before jumping the remainder of the distance to the floor. He landed shakily, and looked to see his family still talking amongst themselves, trying to tell Mikey about how Leo was afraid of heights.

Turning gratefully to his pup, Leo stopped short. His pup wasn't such a pup anymore.

Much like himself, Caleb suddenly looked much older. The animal that had at first only come up to Leo's waist as he was still small, now still came up to his waist, but now he was tall.

As if the animal was growing with him. Leo quickly shook the thought out of his head, and stopped quickly when the movement brought the ache back to his eyes. The movement also brought his family's attention back on him, and they started at seeing him back on the floor.

Recovering quickly, Donny walked briskly over to him and pushed him back to where his art supplies were still scattered on the floor. "Draw. Don't train."

Leo nodded, silently willing the ache to leave, and didn't notice when his eyes closed. Stepping back, Don watched him carefully, until Leo started, finally realizing his eyes had closed.

"What's wrong?"

Leo looked up quickly, then sighed and consciously closed his eyes, before shaking his head. He felt Caleb nuzzle into his hand, and he pet him contently. Don only continued to watch him, before sighing.

Mikey shrugged, "What're ya gonna go?" Then he turned to Leo, "Can I draw with you?"

Listening peacefully, Leo nodded and sat down, feeling around for his pens, before holding a piece of paper in the air, in Mikey's general direction. Mikey smiled and took it, before ungracefully plopping down besides him. He grinned up at the others, "Come on, don't be shy! I know you wanna draw to~."

Raph smirked, before swiping up a piece of paper and sitting down, "Shut it Mikey."

Don smiled, "Raph's just a big softie isn't he?" His grin only widened when he was hit in the head by Raph's pens.

Splinter smiled at the group, before saying, "My sons, if you don't mind, I will go watch my stories." They watched him leave the room before turning to look at each other.

"Turtle who draws the best picture doesn't have to do dishes for a week," Mikey suddenly piped up, and grinned when his older brothers immediately started drawing, before starting himself.

Leo just smiled and drew slowly, carefully, the ink tracing invisible lines perfectly. His mind started to wander, and he unconsciously looked around himself, before his eyes landed on Caleb.

The pup was resting at his side, watching him draw patiently, and Leo couldn't help but be drawn in my the peaceful look in his bright, crimson eyes.

Leo picked up a red pen, and continued drawing. His eyes followed the lines carefully, searching for some invisible break in the ink. Apparently finding one, he carefully traced the line again, and again, and again.

Beginning to get irritated, Leo pressed harder into his paper. _'Why wont this work? It's just ink…'_ then he frowned, and traced a new line on his paper. The paper creased where he pressed, but no more ink flowed from it's tip.

Picturing his walls stained from his pens, Leo sighed. He was going to need more pens soon. Looking up at his brothers, he nodded to himself.

Maybe he could go get some now?

* * *

><p>The Shredder paced impatiently, his feet clicking loudly on the blood stained floor of his previous hideout. The very same that the turtle Leonardo had tricked him into believing would be destroyed. He glanced at the broken red chip on the floor and scowled. No more mistakes would be made.<p>

Raising a hand, the remaining foot ninja in the room stood at attention, and a new arrival made herself known.

"I want you to find Leonardo, and you are to bring him to me. Keep him alive, I want to kill him myself. Destroy his family, It doesn't matter to me."

They nodded, and disappeared. From his place in the corner, Hun frowned and followed slowly, his thought's distracting him from the orders given.

The Shredder turned to face another, and his scowl lifted slightly, "I trust you will get the job done."

"Yes Master."

"Do not fail me, Karai."

* * *

><p>Is Karai spelt correctly? Also: Decided it was time to speed things up a bit. Don't think ya'll want 30 chapters of Leo playing with his wolf.<p> 


	22. Distractions

Warnings- language maybe?

Rated- same per usual

Notes- nope

Uploaded: September 22 2012

Have You Ever Died Chapter 22

Distractions

Leo stared at his paper quietly, thinking over his options. He could sneak out and buy some new pens himself, or he could tell his family about it, and not be scolded later. Option one's benefit, he got new pens. Downfalls, he probably wouldn't be allowed to use them.

Option two benefits, he got new pens. Downfalls, he might have to share with his brothers.

Which was exactly what he was doing now, so why did it matter?

Option two was really the only option. Raph glanced at him, suddenly noticing how he had stopped drawing, and one by one, the others glanced his way as well.

"Something wrong Leo?" Don asked curious.

Leo grinned sheepishly at him, before drawing a line with his pen. Don hummed when he saw there was no ink, and looked up at Leo.

"You need some new pens?"

Leo nodded slowly, careful not to hurt his head again, and looked pleadingly at his brothers. Raph chuckled and said, "Then lets go get some. Knowing fearless, he'd probably just sneak out I we said no anyways." Leo grinned, hiding the fact that he had thought that exact thing not a minute before.

Mikey glanced in the direction of Splinter and his TV, before saying jokingly, "I think sensei's hooked right now. Want to go now?"

Don nodded, "I don't see why not. What time is it up there?"

Mikey shrugged, "Does it matter? Were going up there regardless, aren't we?"

Raph nodded, "Also it'd probably be a good idea to get Leo a pad or something to write on, until his throat heals up."

Leo nodded, quickly agreeing with his brother. Don smiled, giving up.

And then they were out of the sewers.

And then they separated. Leo watched, curious as two of his brothers seemed to immediately forget the reason they had come out in the first place. Mikey skated off mumbling about pizza, while Don growled something about computers and ran off himself. Only Raph remained, and he looked just as amused as Leo did.

"…There goes the most responsible, and the most gullible. Peachy."

Leo smirked. If he could have spoke, he was sure it would have been along the lines of Raph being most gullible. But then again, silence is a blessing, and Leo wasn't a fan of duck tape.

Caleb barked quietly in quick succession, as though he was laughing, and Leo playfully tapped him on the muzzle, earning nothing more than for Caleb's laugh to become louder.

Raph watched the two interact, before saying suddenly, "Let's go get'cha some pens. How'd you run out so quickly in the first place?"

They started walking, and Leo noticed that the moon was out, and that people were scarce. Thinking about how to answer without talking, Leo was surprised when Raph suddenly said, "Oh yeah! You colored on your walls didn't'cha?"

Seeing the surprised look on his brother's face, Raph grinned tiredly, "Heh, didn't think I knew did cha?"

On the contrary, Leo knew that his brother had seen, he just didn't know he'd be quite so blunt or unbothered by it. Regardless, he shook his head and looked around himself to find a good art store.

Raph frowned at him, "Isn't it hard? Not talking I mean. To not be able do something that were taught as children?"

Leo thought for a moment, then shook his head, as though the simple movement could convey all of his thoughts on the matter. Raph didn't question him however, and instead pointed ahead.

"There's the store we'll be going to. Closes shop early, but key's on top of the doorframe, so we can get in." At Leo's disapproving look, Raph added, "It's not like we're stealing anything! I'll just leave some money on the counter. Damn fearless, even in kid form you're all wound up about stuff like this…"

Leo found himself frowning. Did being a kid mean he wasn't supposed to act like himself? Were kids supposed to hide their intellect from those older than themselves? He supposed the answer was yes. With Carter and Joey it certainly was, though they didn't qualify as children anymore.

Leo was kind of jealous of them, on that aspect. They could act their age around each other, and be completely at ease with it. But when he acted like himself, his family got scared. He didn't know what to do.

At least Caleb was there. And Klunk too, he guessed. Though he hadn't seen the strange tabby since…

Oh.

Caleb had taken care of that, hadn't he. Poor cat. He'd have to apologize to Mikey.

Later.

Right now, he was going to get his pens. And then he was going to go home and draw with his family and talk to and wash his dog.

At least, that was the original plan.

But plans change when you're suddenly attacked, don't they.

* * *

><p>Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't been uploading! My computer got a virus that made it so I couldn't go on the internet, and no internet = no updates. To make it up to you all, I'm going to try and update all of my stories the same day or the day after this one!<p> 


	23. One Thing To Change All The Others

Have You Ever Died Chapter 23

One Thing to Change All Others

Leo smiled happily, holding his new set of pens out in front of him as if they were his most prized possession, which Raph reasoned, they probably were. Aside from his Katanas. …Where were his Katanas anyways?

Raph suddenly became painfully aware that his little brother was completely defenseless, and something in him clicked. They needed to get home.

_Now_.

Reaching for the Shell Cell that was always clipped onto his waist, Raph quickly talked into it, "Mikey, Don, Leo doesn't have his weapons. We're going home. Now." He released the button, and listened to his brother's talk.

"I'm on my way. Where are you now?" That was Don.

"We're downtown, at the new art shop. I have no plans on staying and waitin for ya though. We'll meet ya back at the opening to the sewer?"

"I'm on the way too!" And now Mikey. "You guys should've come with me! I got dinner!"

Raph growled, suddenly on edge, "Mikey. Leo doesn't have his weapons."

"Why're you so uptight all of the sudden?"

"Mikey," Raph took a deep breath, "I have a bad feelin."

There was a pause at the other end, before, "…Alright. I'll meet you there."

Sighing, Raph looked at Leo, who had been watching him, confused. Leo cocked his head to the side, trying to ask him what was wrong.

Smiling at him, Raph put his hand on his head, "Don't worry bout it Leo. Let's just focus on getting home."

Leo nodded, holding his pens closer to his plastron. He didn't know why his brother was suddenly so tense, but suddenly so was he.

'_I wish I had my weapons.'_

He couldn't even remember taking them off. He shrugged, and followed Raph as he quickly scaled the side of the nearest building. They needed to go up, to go down.

And as Leo quickly climbed, he glanced back to see where his wolf had gone.

He almost fell off the bricks. He saw Carter and Joey, standing next to Caleb, both looking extremely worried. Leo watched as they pointed simultaneously, to the direction which Raph was going.

And Carter opened her mouth and whispered, only Leo could _hear her._

"_They're coming."_

And Leo was running to his brother. Caleb was in good hands. Caleb was safe. But Raph…

Raph would die if he didn't stop.

He had to do something. He had to make his brother stop. There was only one thing he could do. Scream.

And he did scream.

"RAPH STOP!"

And Raph had never stopped quicker. Turning around immediately, he saw Leo fell to his knees, fingers tightening over his own throat, trying to stop the blood from leaving his mouth.

"Leo! Why'd you yell!?"

Leo looked up and almost cried. He'd done it. His brother was alive. But as he looked in the distance, that might not last much longer. He pointed, and Raph's eyes widened.

"Leo run!"

Almost invisible against the dark horizon, were dozens of Foot Ninja. As Raph picked Leo up and ran, he came to a realization. Leo had seen them first. If Leo hadn't screamed…

He would have died.

He hadn't seen them, and he wouldn't have seen them until it was to late. Wiping the blood of his brother's face, Raph's eyes hardened, and he his Leo behind a bulky air conditioner unit atop a building, dropping the Shell Cell next to him.

Then he pulled out his Sai, and he fought.

As the sound of metal against metal met Leo's ears, he picked up the Shell Cell, activated the screen, and waited.

The faces of his brothers were not happy ones.

Before they could say anything, Leo turned the cell so they could see Raph and the ninja's fighting, and he heard the click of phones being turned off. They were coming.

Leo just hoped they got there soon enough.

But something caught his eye. Behind the other unit on the roof, somehow, were two children, and a wolf, fear completely gone from their features. They smiled at Leo, and suddenly Caleb was at his side and the kids had vanished, but just before they did, Leo saw them drop something.

Pulling himself onto Caleb's back, Leo coughed, trying to get the blood out of his lungs. He didn't regret screaming. He never would. Caleb moved over to where the kids had disappeared, and Leo would have laughed if he could've.

They'd brought him his swords.

So Leo got off Caleb, picked up his swords, and he _fought_.

And then his brother's arrived and they _won_.

But the arrival of an uninvited party changed everything. One woman, who made his brother's scowl. Who made Caleb growl and his stomach turn.

Raph growled out her name, and the fighting began.

Karai.

She fought like a beast, blocking and parrying every blow, every thrust. His eyes met hers as their blades crossed, and with the look came something strange.

Respect.

And suddenly, Leo found himself enjoying the fight. He found himself enjoying when their blades met, when they met equal.

But then she hurt his brother, and the enjoyment disappeared.

It was one quick slash, one that could have easily been blocked; he'd been caught off guard, having just finished blocking an earlier attack.

Donny was down.

And his three brother's were _pissed_.

* * *

><p>Thanks for waiting so long for an update everyone! Have a great new year! And please vote on my poll! It decides what my next story'll be about [genre wise].<p> 


	24. Not The Case

Why do so many of you think I'm going to abandon this story? Believe me I already have the ending planned out -_- I have absolutely no intention of abandoning this story. I just hope my ending doesn't piss anybody off!

* * *

><p>The fight was over, and Leo didn't even remember how it ended.<p>

He remembered seeing Donny go down, and then feeling hot rage in his chest. There was blood, he was certain of that. He could still see it everywhere. From cuts on his own body, and from his brother's. It was on his own blades, as well as his families respective weapons.

He blinked, and noticed he was still, his weapons in his shaking hands. He heard voices and turned to see his brothers kneeling over Don's body, trying to stop the blood from leaving; trying to stop him from dying.

He realized they had never even left the rooftop, and that there was blood all down his front. He realized a little to late that it was his, and struggled to remain standing. Caleb was at his side instantly, pushing his blades out of his hands and nuzzling his throat gently.

He hadn't been injured in the fight. This was his own doing.

He hacked, a nasty, wet sound that made his brother's heads shoot up. His face turned down to the pavement, obscuring his view of his brother's faces, but he knew what they would show.

Worry, and uncertainty.

Leo was fully aware that he had probably just ruined his chances of ever speaking again. Yelling had been the final straw for his body, if all the blood was any indication. He watched his brother's faces as they turned back to Don. His condition was much more urgent. He wasn't unconscious, but he was obviously in pain and he was cradling a rather nasty sword wound of his own.

But then again, Leo was still in a pretty bad state himself, and it wasn't as if he was any less important than Don was…

Right?

He continued to cough for a few moments, before he sat on the ground, unable to stand any longer. He was becoming light headed from the loss of blood, but the sudden dizziness brought a bout of strange unexpected clarity.

He wasn't as important. If he were to die, than his family would be without one bipolar, insanity driven, killing machine of a little brother. Nothing lost there. But Don was their tech support. He was the one to bandage them up when they were hurt or sick. If Don was to die, they would all die with him.

It made him sad, but dying had been his choice.

And he suddenly wished he could take it back.

Seeing as his family was preoccupied, Leo managed to locate his Shell Cell and call the lair. Splinter would want to know what had happened.

The old rat hadn't so much as looked at him for a second before the cell was turned off. Leo set the phone next to him, taking it as a sign that Splinter had already gotten the message.

And then he blacked out.

When he woke up, he didn't open his eyes. Instead of thinking about his brothers, something else jumped to the front of his mind.

How had the fight ended? Obviously they had won, or else they'd be dead right now, although he couldn't really speak for his brother at the moment. He had no clue as to his state of being.

And what of that woman? Karai. He found himself thinking about her, curious the reason such a skilled fighter was working for someone who clearly didn't care for his lackeys. She had been no idiot. Leo had seen it in her eyes. He was impressed she had the intellect to be who she was, and do what she did.

But she wasn't off the hook for hurting his brother.

Not in the slightest.

However, remembering how much blood had been on his blades, Leo had to wonder.

Had he already gotten back at her? Had he killed her? He should've been more worried about being unable to remember than he was, but with all that had happened to him, he couldn't be.

He was vaguely aware of the fact that he'd grown again. It wasn't something that he needed to wonder about, he just knew it. What confused him was why he wasn't in pain.

Sitting up tiredly, Leo opened his eyes and saw that he was alone, in his room. His new pens, though blood spattered, sat unmoving next to his bed. He looked around himself, and saw his wolf sleeping soundly by his feet. If Caleb had needed a bath before, he definitely needed one now. Dried blood stained his usually white fur, and Leo had to wonder why no one had thought about that before hand.

He could tell by how stiff his body felt. He'd been asleep for at least two days, if not more. Stretching carefully, Leo stood. He staggered slightly, not due to pain, but to the fact that the ground was now a foot farther away.

Oh yes. He'd grown a whole lot.

Although he was curious, he wasn't about to question why the growth spurt didn't hurt. Maybe he was sleeping longer than he thought he would, and the answer was as simple as that. He didn't really care.

'_Where's Donny?'_

Waking up when Leo walked past him, Caleb trotted merrily next to him, obviously pleased he was awake. Leo vaguely comprehended that Caleb had indeed grown with him. He felt a pang of guilt. Did the growth spurts hurt Caleb as well? With the content way he was prancing around Leo's heels, Leo sighed in relief. It didn't seem like it.

Walking with more confidence, the distance to the floor no longer frightening to him, Leo looked ahead. He doubted his brother had died after the attack. He would've felt it.

He pondered what had happened. Someone had obviously cared to his own wounds, as there was no blood on himself currently. His katana were no longer at his sides, and he assumed they were in the dojo, where the weapons were usually cleaned and displayed.

He wondered if his brothers knew he had grown, or even if he was awake. They would be with Donny, no doubt. When someone important to you is hurt, you stay with them until they're better.

But no one had been with him?

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. It didn't matter whether or not someone was with him. He could take care of himself. He just needed to get stronger first. He was grateful for his recent growth, as that probably meant his katana were more fit to his size.

He'd have to test it out. He coughed, and the attention to his throat brought him to a halt. Would he be able to talk now? The stress on his body from yelling during the battle had almost made him bleed out. Against his better judgment, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Caleb?"

The wolf looked up at him happily, before nuzzling his hand with his muzzle. Leo grinned. It had been a while since he had been able to say the wolf's name, and he knew the other appreciated the sentiment. He vaguely wondered how tall he was in comparison to his brothers, and picturing the surprised looks on their faces when they would see him only made him laugh.

"…Leo?"

He looked up and saw Mikey staring at him, his eyes filled with wonder, and Leo grinned at how he was almost eye level with the shorter turtle. Before he had a chance to reply, Mikey yelled.

"Guys! Leo's awake!"

Leo faltered at the volume of Mikey's cry, instinctively taking a step back. Mikey didn't seem to see as he disappeared into another room, then returned quickly with Raph and Splinter. Raph started to move as it to say something but stopped upon actually seeing Leonardo.

Leo grinned widely. He was up to Raph's shoulders now. Splinter stepped forward and embraced him tightly, "I am glad you are alright my son."

Leo hugged Splinter back, and when they separated, Leo spoke, "How long have I been out for?"

His family blinked, not just at the realization that Leo had his voice back, but also at the change in pitch. Leo sounded like a teen now. Almost like an adult.

It shouldn't have bothered them as much as it did.

Raph broke his silence, "A few days…Leo, are you sure you're alright?"

Leo stared at Raph, thinking, then slowly shook his head, "Yeah. How's Don."

Before Raph could answer, there was a shout from the other room, and he pinched the bridge of his nose, "He's fine, but we wont let him do anything until he's recovered. Techy stuff included." Leo grinned and peeked into the other room.

Don was glaring daggers at a wall, and his expression caused Leo to laugh, startling Don. He turned and grinned when he saw Leo, "Leo! You're awake!"

Leo grinned at him and walked over, "How're you doing little brother?"

Don opened his mouth to answer before he paused, "…Little brother?"

Leo shrugged, "Well, yeah. You are technically my little brother. All three of you are. I was just to small before for you to remember."

Don frowned up at him, "Leo that's not-"

"Leo!" Mikey slammed into Leo from behind, hugging him. Leo grinned when Mikey couldn't reach all the way around his torso, and hugged his brother back.

"Hey Mikey." He turned back to Don, "But really, how are you doing?"

Don sighed, "I'm fine Leo. Those monsters however," he pointed at Mikey and Raph, "refuse to let me do anything!"

"Yeah I agree with them." Don gawked at Leo, and he laughed, "You're still hurt, so you shouldn't move around to much."

Don groaned and put his head in his hands. Feeling Mikey still on his shell, Leo grinned and spun around really fast, throwing his brother off. Mikey landed across the room with a yelp, then turned to look at Leo curiously.

Leo just shrugged and said playfully, "You weren't letting go, so…" Mikey grinned at the thought of taller, funner Leo, and Splinter watched his sons with interest.

Something had changed. He could no longer see the scared, mad little child they had dealt with for the past few weeks. It seemed like Leo had lost every trait of his supposed insanity.

But, Splinter shook his head. That couldn't possibly be the case.


	25. Little Brothers

Warnings: None

Rated: T as usual

Notes: So I got a job, so I won't be updating as much as I thought. Sorry.

Updated: June 13 2013

* * *

><p>Have You Ever Died chapter 25<p>

Little Brothers

Leo sighed as he ran hot water over stained fur, trying carefully to wash the blood, paint and ink out of his Wolf's fur before it became a permanent accessory to him. Caleb nuzzled him in response, laying down in the tub happily. Leo felt guilt in the fact that this was the first bath he'd give the poor wolf since he'd gotten him all those years ago.

Or what felt like years anyways.

Leo scrubbed gently at Caleb's fur, his eyes flicking every so often at the mixture of colors as it was washed down the drain. He half hoped the colors would stain the clean white tub, so he could always see the vibrant hues, but he knew that his brother's wouldn't be so appreciative of the sudden artistic flair to the bathroom.

He shivered as his hands left the warm water, and reached for more soap. It had been a few days since he had woken up, and this was the first time he'd gotten any time to himself. Don was on the road to complete recovery, and was even allowed to go into his lab every now and again. For the most part, everything had returned to normal.

He wasn't normal though. Well, by other's standards, he supposed he was 'normal.' But he had gotten to used to the ever presence of madness in the back of his mind, and it was strange not feeling it there anymore.

It wasn't 'normal.' Not at all.

In the past, he hadn't wanted the madness, but now that it was gone…

He kind of missed it.

His eyes scanned Caleb's now almost spotless white fur, and found a small spot of red, about the size of a quarter behind his right ear. Dabbing at it with the cloth, Leo was startled to see that once it was gone, another spot quickly replaced it.

Was Caleb bleeding?

He turned off the water quickly, and moved Caleb to he was facing him, and gently bent down Caleb's head. Prodding carefully at the red spot, he moved the fur aside to see a small, thin cut.

He accidentally brushed his fingers against it, and Caleb growled.

Caleb actually growled at _him_.

And Leo leaned back, pulled his fingers away, and growled right back. His eyes narrowed, and Caleb immediately stopped growling, and leaned his head back to nuzzle Leo's face.

Pushing his thoughts away, Leo grabbed a towel and quickly dried Caleb off, carefully avoiding the spot behind his ear.

Standing up, Leo threw the towel over a drying rack before leaving the small bathroom, Caleb at his side. Leo brushed his fingers across the now smooth fur, and marveled in how Caleb's previously plain red eyes had suddenly seemed to morph into a brighter, beautiful crimson.

He had missed that color.

The sound of fighting brought his attention away from Caleb, and he turned the corner into the dojo. Splinter was yelling at his brothers, who were rolling on the floor, one which happened to be in a headlock, to keep quiet. Don occasionally barked at them to be quiet as well, his fingers moving quickly over his keyboard.

Leo walked over to Splinter and tapped his shoulder. Upon seeing him, the old rat seemed to deflate, his anger washing away. "Leonardo, it is good to see you my son."

"What's going on?"

Splinter shook his head, his shoulders slumping in irritation, "I wish I knew. Whenever Michelangelo tries to tell me, Raphael will not let him speak."

"It's because he's a little brat!"

Leo glanced down to see that Raph still had Mikey in a choke hold and was currently trying to stifle any words that came out of the younger turtle's mouth.

Don chuckled, "I'm not even sure I want to know what they're fighting about."

Leo watched Raph and Mikey for a minute, before deciding that he did want to know, and in one swift motion, he pulled the two off the floor, unclasped Raph's arms, and separated the two.

They were to startled to argue with him.

"So what were you two fighting about?"

Splinter watched the three with curiosity. Raph replied, "It's none of your business, Fearless."

Leo frowned, but no anger was on his face, "I thought we were past that Raph."

"Not even close."

"If you don't stop, I'll start calling you Ralph."

Whatever response Raph had to what he thought Leo was going to say died on his tongue. He stared at the playful look on his brothers face, "…You'll do what now?"

"I'll call you Ralph."

"But Fearless-"

"Yes Ralph?"

Raph made a noise of protest in his throat, but his shoulders slumped in defeat, "Oh fine you little-"

Don cut him off, "So what were you two fighting about?"

Mikey frowned, "Well I was talking about how I haven't seen Klunk in a while, and so Ralph over there," he grinned at the new nickname, "Started joking about how he probably ran away because I'm bad at caring for pets, and I wanted him to eat his words."

"Which resulted in getting yourself in a headlock in the middle of the dojo," Don finished. Mikey nodded sheepishly.

Leo frowned as he remembered what he'd seen all those weeks ago. When Caleb had killed Klunk. Mikey deserved to know what had happened to his cat. He had just opened his mouth when Mikey let out a squeal of delight.

"Klunk! There you are!" Leo's throat tightened up as he watched a orange blur jump into Mikey's arms. "I was wondering where you were lil dude!"

A warm feeling spread over Leo's body, and he glanced around the room, startled when he saw the two things he never expected to be there.

Joey and Carter.

They seemed older now, as old as him if he had to guess, but they still held onto their childlike characteristics. Joey's face was still a little to round, and Carter's figure had yet to fill out. They held each other's hands tightly.

The two beckoned to him, not saying a word, and he walked calmly over, ignoring the sounds of his youngest brother's laughter. He felt Raph's eyes on the back of his head, and took care not to act strange.

His eyes flickered towards the doorway behind the two, and they nodded before they seemed to fade away. Just before his foot reached the doorframe someone decided to speak.

"Leonardo, you are leaving already?"

Without turning around, Leo answered his sensei, "Yes Sensei. My heads starting to hurt, and I want to rest."

Not waiting for recondition, Leo continued through the door. He didn't know it yet, but leaving that room triggered a changing point in his life.

Raph scowled, stepped forward, and began to speak to his family.

Leo was already gone.


End file.
